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She doesn’t say the rest but I can tell They hth when I wake, I drop too low and my Levo knocksround, black and furry on it; I reach out a hand, then stop

‘Go on That is Sebastian, our cat He is very friendly’

I touch his fur lightly with a fingertip Warm, and soft

He stirs, and the ball unwinds as he stretches out his paws, puts his head back and yawns

I have seen pictures of cats before, of course But this is different He is sofishy breath, silky fur rippling as he stretches, big yellow-green eyes staring back into ets up, leans across

‘Stroke hi his fur from his head down to his tail I copy her, and hethat vibrates froh his body

‘What is that?’

A It means he likes you’

Later it is dark out the , and Amy is asleep across the room Sebastian still purrs faintly beside me when I stroke him The door is part open for the cat, and sounds drift up the stairs Clattering kitchen noises Voices

‘She’s a quiet little thing, isn’t she’ Dad

‘You can say that again Nothing like A froh the door, would she?’

‘Still won’t,’ he says, and laughs

‘She is a different girl, all right A bit odd if you ask reen eyes just stare and stare’

‘Oh, she is quite sweet Give her a chance to get settled’

‘It is her last chance, isn’t it’

‘Hush’

And a door shuts downstairs and I hear no more Just a faint murmur

I hadn’t wanted to leave the hospital Not that I wanted to stay there forever, but within those walls, I knehere I was How I fit, as expected

Here all is unknown

But it isn’t as scary as I thought Already I can see A Sebastian will be better than chocolate to pull et low And the food is much better My first Sunday roast dinner We do this every week, Amy said

Dinner and, not a shower, but a bath – a whole hot tub to soak in – had me at nearly 7 by bedtime

Mum thinks I am odd I must remember not to stare at her so h my brain

Last chance…

Have I had other chances?

Last chance…

I run

Waves claw at the sand under ain and again Ragged breath sucked in and out until ives way under my feet and stretches on and on as far as my eyes can see, and still I scrabble up and slip down and run

Terror snaps atcloser

I could turn and face it, see what it is

I run

‘Ssssh, I’ve got you’

I struggle then realise it is Aht strea on?’ Muht, now Aren’t you, Kyla?’

My heart rate is slowing; vision, clearing I push her away

‘Yes I’

CHAPTER FOUR

I drift through trees, spin and spran on grass and daisies on the ground, alone I stare at clouds drifting across the sky, rasp at them, so I let them wash past: just lie still and be one Trees and sky are replaced by the darkness of closed eyelids, tickling grass by solid bed

Quiet Why is it so quiet? My body knows it is later than 5 a up and down the hall

I lie very still, holdClose by Did I black out last night, is there a Watcher in my room? If so, it sounds like they sleep rather than watch

There are faint cheerful sounds in the other direction, a distant rise and fall, like music Birds?