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Mum, Dad and Amy pull up their sleeves and hold their hands out the s, so I do the sauard looks at Muoes to A over her Levo and it beeps Then he does the sa to mine, and it beeps, too He looks in the boot and slao through

‘Kyla, ould you like to do today?’ Mum asks

Mum is round and pointy, and no that isn’t ridiculous Her shape is round and soft but her eyes and words are sharp

The car pulls on to the road and I twist round The hospital complex I know, but only from the inside It stretches side to side and up and up Endless rows of little barred s High fences and toith guards at regular intervals And…

‘Kyla, I asked you a question!’

I juhs

‘Of course not, Kyla; don’t worry Kyla doesn’t knohat she wants to do, she doesn’t knohat there is to do’

‘Now Muht hos for a bit, like the doctor said’

‘Yes because doctors know everything,’ Muument

Dad looks in the mirror ‘Kyla, did you know that fifty percent of doctors finished in the bottohs

‘Honestly, David,’ Mu also

‘Have you heard the one about the doctor who couldn’t tell his left froical errors that I hope never happened inand saying, and stare out the

London

A new picture begins to for its central place, shrinking in the sea of what surrounds it Roads that go on and on, cars, buildings Some near the hospital are blackened and boarded;on balconies, plants, curtains billowing out s And everywhere: people In cars, walking along the street Crowds of people and shops and offices and stillthe guards at the corners who get fewer the further ae are from the hospital

Dr Lysander has asked me many ti, memorise and map every relationship and position?

I don’t know Maybe I don’t like feeling blank There are so ht

Within days of re how to put one foot in front of the other and not fall over, I’d walked and counted and mapped with pictures in my mind every floor of the hospital that was access allowed I could have found each nurses’ station, lab and room by number blindfolded; I could close my eyes now and see it all before me

But London is a different o up and down every street to complete the map, and we seee an hour west of London

I’d seen maps and pictures of course, at the hospital school Hours every day they’d spoon feed us as e as our blank brains could soak up to prepare us for release

How ripped each fact and ain in a notebook so I couldn’t forget Most of the others were less receptive Too busy s and everybody When ere Slated, they upped the happy in our psychic profiles

If they upped the smiles in mine, they must have been non-existent to start with

CHAPTER THREE

Dad pulls , keys in hand Muet out of the car, then turn back when I don’t follow

‘Co, Kyla’ Mum’s voice is impatient

I push at the door, hard and then harder, but nothing happens I look up at Mu to twist as the look on her face matches her tone

Then Amy opens the door from the outside ‘You pull this handle down, on the inside of the door, and then push it open All right?’

She shuts the door again, and I grasp the handle and do as she says The door swings open and I step out, glad to straightenin the car One hour had turned to three due to traffic delays and diversions, and had Murabs my wrist ‘Look 44 just because she can’t work out a door God, this is going to be hard work’

And I want to object, say that is unfair and it isn’t the door but how you are being about it But I don’t knohat I should or shouldn’t say Instead I say nothing and bite the inside of my cheek, hard

Amy slips an arm across my shoulders as Mum follows Dad inside ‘She doesn’tto be late Anyhow, you haven’t been in a car before, have you? How should you know?’

She pauses and I don’t knohat to say, again, but this ti nice So I try a smile, a small one, but it is for real this time

Amy so in?’ she says

Where the car is parked to the right of the house is all small stones that crunch and rass covers the front garden, a massive tree – oak? – to the left Its leaves are amessily underneath Leaves fall in autumn I remind myself, and what is it now? The 13th of Septely flowers either side of the front door, petals dropping on the ground And, all around me, so much space So quiet after the hospital, and London I stand on the grass and breathe the cool air in deep It tastes da of life, like those fallen leaves

‘Coh the front door into the hall Leading off it is a rooe flat black screen doer than the one they had in recreation at the hospital, not that they let ht work surfaces, with cupboards above and below And aa pan inside

‘Go to your room and unpack before dinner, Kyla,’ Mum says, and I jump

Amy takes my hand ‘This way,’ she says, and pulls me back to the hall I follow her up the stairs, to another hall with three doors andup

‘We’re on this floor, Mum and Dad upstairs See, this is ht ‘That one at the end is the bathroom, we’ll share They have their own one upstairs And this is your room’ She points left

I look at Ao in

Much bigger thanis already on the floor where Dadtable with drawers and athat looks out over the front of the house

Twin beds

Aht we’d put two in here to start with; I can stay with you at night if you want et settled’