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He doesn’t say when he’ll be ho he does with his face--it’s a trick An act he’s figured out how to do It drives me crazy, because I don’t kno to hideto deserve his retreat

It makes me think of that day in the library when I tried to slap him

The way he was that day--that’s West That was ry, intense, i an asshole

"What’s your class schedule this se "I’d have to check I haven’t ht sneer in that sentence I haven’t memorized it, like I’m sure you have

West has never sneered at edis really deeply wrong here

I screw uphiht in thehappen to you? Last night, or on your way back here?"

It’s a long shot, but he could have an excuse An explanation He could

"I told you, nothing’s thelike this?"

"Like what?"

I push at his biceps withup at his empty face "Like this"

He kind of rolls his eyes at lances up at the sky, like I’irl "I think you have the wrong idea about us"

"What does that onna be like that"

We’re not gonna be like that

That’s what he’s getting at with this routine of his That’s his purpose "You’re pushing me away"

He still won’t look at --a way for hi predictably whiny now, felistening His Ada as he ss

His voice is full of gravel when he tells onna be busy" He clears his throat and continues, "I’ve got eighteen credits this semester, plus an extra bakery shift, and I don’t think--"

"Who do you think you are?"

"What?"

"Are you the sao? And the night before that, and the night before that, and twice a lot of days, when the house was empty with Frankie at school? Was that you, or was that souy who just sounded like you?"

"You knoas ?"

He crosses his ar I want to back off this thing"

"This thing"

"Us"

"You’re breaking up with round between us, and I look at the place where they land, right in front of his feet The frozen gray slush West is standing braced--his legs wide, his ar like a beacon

He planned this He was ready for it

And he’s still doing a really terrible job of pretending not to give a shit

We were never going out

We’re not friends

He told ueI don’t knohat’s changed So He hasn’t bothered to tell me

Because, after all, when does he ever bother to tell ry, but I’ht I’d be in his bed right now I thought we’d be s on a condom so I could finally, finally, feel him inside me

Instead, he’s so far away, I can’t even find hi at those five pathetic words on the ground "We were never going out"

He glances at the restaurant behind hio fuck hi, some rope to catch hold of, some idea what happens next So I ask, "Will I see you? At the bakery, or will you coby party Saturday, or … ?"

"I’m sure I’ll see you around"

"Yeah Great That’s just fucking great, West"

His eyebrows have drawn in, liketo hi hot tracks downon reat shift," I tell hi we’re not friends, or else ood thing eren’t going out, or I’d be gutted right now But, you knoe’re not Going out Obviously It’s so obvious, I’et themy stupid female brain Or, hell, ether at the bakery, hanging out, or that time when I slept in your bed and cried on your lap on the bathrooet the , slip, and fall on my tailbone The pain pushes up more tears When West offers ht"

I lumber up, and if his eyes have thawed at last--if his expression is full of asto let itto walk away from him before all of it can catch up to , because I’ht now, I’ll have to accept that he’s breakingtell endary