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It’s actually three parties Starting right after dinner, there’s a pre-party in Rawlins lounge that’s just for the team At nine, the whole-campus party kicks off in the Minnehan Center, which is always packed with bodies, because the rugby tea party after winter break, plays the best music, and never runs out of beer

In between the two parties--well, that’s why it’s legendary The blow-job contest

Last year IBut this ti I helped Quinn with the planning, showed up to decorate Minnehan with paper cutouts of fierce rugby-playing wo on the wall, which I think was supposed to be a life-size representation of a scruues and hands Really we’re just lucky nobody fro attention to the decorations, because

Wow

Quinn says she’s going to save it and put it up in her dorm room after the party

I ry They’re thirsty Quinn brought three gallons of fruit punch and three bottles of vodka We ht in the red plastic cups Mine makeson the fringes, watching the others dance

I don’t want to drink toostupid, like show up at West’s door and yell at hih I know he doesn’t do parties, and he wants to back off this thing, I wish he ith ht

So I could kick him

And then probably kiss him

I’d like to drink six drinks in a row, but that would be kind of du irl, and when Quinn tries to get me to join her in an interpretive dance-off, I just set and Krishna laughing together on the other side of the room, my friends who aren’t officially supposed to be here, except they helped Quinn and me set up, and nobody cares, really

I’ll watch Quinn undulate, pretending to be a jellyfish, because that’s her assigned interpretive-dance the, wasn’t invited to this party, would’ve said no if I invited him

I’ll stand here and watch hter, a party planner, a brownnosing rule-following coward And the way things are going, that’s all I’ll ever be

We leave the lounge wrecked, put on jackets and hats, twine on scarves, stuht The teh twenties, the snow thick and slushy We slog toward the rugby field along the train tracks to a spot behind the Minnehan Center that Quinn and I diligently cleared off earlier Forty feet of snow-free track glea around--irlfriends, boyfriends As we take bottles out of backpacks and unwrap disposable shot glasses to line theot a cloth envelope full of money I’m supposed to be the cashier, but when Quinn sinks to her knees beside the tracks and says, "Let’s go, girls Line ’em up!" I don’t want to any in

I find Krishna’s head in the crowd and beckon hi the envelope into his hand

"Only if you do me for free"

"Fine You can be my first" I catch Quinn’s eye "I want in on this"

"Sweet! We’ve got another virrrrgin!"

The idea that I’in is patently hilarious, but no one is ets ht!" she shouts, and the crowd starts to gather in around us "You all kno this works! Ten bucks gets you two blow jobs--one for you, one for the awesoer across the tracks You pay your girl, she lets you stick your tenner down her shirt, it’s all very kinky We all go on the saoes on the tracks, and you have to drink it with your hands free in one try If you choke or spit it all over your face like a loser, go to the back of the line If your rugger chokes or gets it on herself, you can have yourkids, you can pay another ten and go again if you want You all know Krishna?"

Eyes turn toward Krishna Heads nod

"Right Everybody knows Krish You need change, talk to Krish I’ him the asshole referee This is supposed to be fun to raise by Yes, the shots are called blow jobs Yes, it’s ever so naughty But if you step over the line fro or any other forive you the boot, and a dozen pissed-off ruggers are going to back him up This is a safe space For ev-ery-one Got it?"

More nodding and some cheers The crowd’s happy, we’re happy We aren’t the only ones who threw a pre-party "All right! Let’s do it! Where’s et has the whistle The first row of takers pays their ets down on their knees

"Hands behind your backs!" Bridget yells

I tuck ers into my back pockets, just so I won’t be teet cries, and blows the whistle

I dipmy head down to the level of the tracks, and I have to open h toflashes in lea off the tracks

I see myself from the outside Head thrown back Eyes closed A parody of exploitation

The shot slides downand cold at once, foreign and alar reflex My eyes tear up It’s i too hard Nate’s dick shoved farther down ht at the borderline of gagging

It’s not funny It’s not

But when I s and lift ot their hands on et with her whistle, s Krishna across from me hipped creahter "That is fucking gross," he says

"You lose!" Quinn taunts "Back of the line"

It’s the strangest thing, because I’m not drunk, and I’m not traumatized, and I’m not crazy

I’id, I’irl who did a shot off the train tracks, high-fiving her friends, savoring the war down her throat and into her stomach

It’s stupid But I’m okay I’uys I don’t know I get the second one down but choke on the third, and that guy waves off the ive it back I let hih he’s not supposed to He chokes and dribbles whitish-yellow fluid all over his chin, which is sufficiently disgusting that we both bust up laughing "I’ me his hand

I take it It’s sticky "Caroline"

He smiles "I know"

I decide what heworse than that

"Maybe I’ll see you at the party later," he tells ets up, damp patches on the knees of his jeans

Maybe he will

There’s another guy After hi to Scott