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"Alexander, listen to me This is our last chance I know it This is a perfect plan; it could work so well But she will lead us to ruin She is not up to it Don’t be stupid noe are so close This is it" Di for! There are no more trial runs, there are no more tomorrows, no more next times This is it"

"Yes," said Alexander "This is it" Closing his eyes briefly, he fought an impulse to keep them closed

"So listen to me--"

"I will not listen"

"You will listen!" exclai ti leave Tania in the Soviet Union for good Not at all I’et out Get out safely and, ood to her dead, and I’ to enjoy America if I’m dead myself Alive, Alexander Plus, to hide in the swa to Helsinki in a truck What swairl, we’re a crowd We’re not hiding out We’re asking to be caught If soet killed--"

"Why would Sayers get killed? He’s a Red Cross doctor" Alexander studied Dimitri intensely

"I don’t know But if we had to make it by ourselves across the Baltic -- on ice, on foot, hiding out in convoy trucks -- well, two men can do it, but three people? We will be too easily noticed Too easily stopped And she won’t h the blockade She h Dasha She willwith uncertainty The dangers Di out were so close to Alexander’s own anxieties for Tatiana, it was brutalizing his stos you say etting two very is What do you think will happen to her here once I’ Her name is still Tatiana Metanova" Dimitri nodded slyly "You have been very careful to keep your e hidden That’ll help you now"

"It won’t help her" Alexander stopped

"No one will know"

"You’re wrong," said Alexander "I will know" He gritted his teeth to keep the groan of pain fro his throat

"Yes, but you’ll be in America You’ll be back home"

Alexander spoke in a flat voice "She cannot remain behind"

"She can She’ll be fine Alexander, she’s never known anything but this life--"

"Neither have you!"

Dimitri went on "She’ll continue here as if she’d never hed "I know you think a lot of yourself, but she will get over you Others have I know she probably cares for you very much -- but with time she’llan idiot!" Alexander said "She’ll be arrested in three days The wife of a deserter Three days And you know it Stop talking horseshit"

"No one will knoho she is"

"You found out!"

Ignoring Alexander, Dio back to Grechesky Hospital and will go on with her life in Leningrad And if you still want her when you’re settled in America, after the war is over, you can send her a for her to co distant aunt She will come by proper methods, if she can, by train, by ship Think of this as a temporary separation, until there is a better tie of his nose with his left hand Soht The short hairs on his neck stood on end He breathed ht at him "You have a chance, for the second ti decent -- take it The first time hen you helped me to see my father What do you care if she comes with us?"

"I have to think ofabout protecting your wife"

"Howabout that?" Alexander exclaiht only of yourself--"

"Unlike, say, you?" Dihed

"Unlike anyone else Come with us She extended her hand to you"

"To protect you"

"Yes It doesn’t et us out We will all be free You will have the one thing you care about the most -- your free life away from war You do care about that the most, don’t you?" Tania’s St Isaac’s words swam by Alexander He covets from you most what you want most But Alexander would not be defeated He will never take it all from you, Alexander, his Tatiana had said to him He will never have that much power "You will have your free life -- because of her We will not perish -- because of her"

"We’ll all be killed -- because of her"

"I guarantee -- you will not perish Take this chance, have your life I’et you out, and I will Tania is very strong, and she will not let us down You’ll see She will not falter; she will not fail You have nothing to do but say yes She and I will do the rest You said yourself, this is our last chance I agree I feel thatto hide his desperate anger, Alexander said, "Let soht you inside yourself, you have forgotten other people Remember her Once You know that if she stays here, she will die Save her, Dimitri" Alexander almost said, please

"If she comes with us, ill all die," Dimitri said coldly "I’m convinced of it"

Alexander turned his body forward and faced the lazed over

Darkness engulfed hi at the front If you had died out on the ice, she would have had to find a way to continue living in the Soviet Union, wouldn’t she? Well, it’s the sa"

"It’s all the difference in the world" Alexander looked into his stiffening hands Because now there is light in front of her

"It is no difference to her at all One way or the other she is without you"

"No"

"She is a small price to pay for A, Alexanderout of his chest The Fontanka Bridge, the granite parapets, Tatiana on her knees

"She will doom us all"

"Dimitri, I already said no," he said, steel in his voice

Dimitri narrowed his eyes "Are you deliberately not understanding me? She can’t come"

I am just a means to an end, she had said I ahed "Finally! I ondering how long it would take you to issue your useless threats You say she can’t come?"

"No, she can’t"

"That’s fine," said Alexander with a short nod "I’ is off It’s over Dr Sayers is leaving for Helsinki i back to the front Tania will return to Leningrad" Steadying his loathing stare on Di You’re dis is finished"

Di o without her?"

"Have you not been listening?"

"I see" Di himself on Alexander’s bed as he spoke "You underestimate me, Alexander I can see you will not listen to reason That’s too bad Perhaps, then, what I should do is go and talk to Tania, explain the situation to her She is rave danger, why, I am certain she herself will offer to stay behind--" Dirabbed Dimitri’s arm Dimitri yelped and threw his other hand up, but it was too late, Alexander had them both

"Understand this," said Alexander as his thu vise around Diive a fck if you talk to Tania, to Stepanov, to Mekhlis, or to the whole Soviet Union Tell the without her If she stays, I stay" And with a savage thrust, Alexander ruptured the ulnar bone in Dih the red of his fury Alexander heard the snap It sounded like the ax crashing against the pliant pine in Lazarevo Dio "You underesti the wrist violently again and again until the broken bone tore out of Di his fist, Alexander punched Dimitri in the face, and the uppercut bloould have driven the fractured nasal bone into Dimitri’s frontal lobe had the irabbed Alexander’s arm, who literally threw hi? Let go, let go!"

Panting, Alexander shoved Dimitri away, and Dimitri slumped to the floor "Get offorderly As soon as thehis hands He had yanked the IV right out of the vein, which was now dripping blood between his fingers So it does bleed, he thought

"What in the world happened here?" yelled the nurse, running up "What kind of awful situation is this? The private comes for a visit, and what do you do?"

"Next ti off his blankets and getting out of bed

"Get back into bed! My orders are that you don’t get out of bed under any circumstances Wait till Ina co always happen on ood half hour, a bleeding and unconscious Dimitri was removed fro that he already had plenty to do without the woundedmore wounded out of perfectly healthy men

"You call him perfectly healthy?" said Alexander "Did you see his limp? Did you see his pulverized face? Ask around This isn’t the first tiuarantee it won’t be the last"

But Alexander knew: he had not merely assaulted Dimitri Had he not been stopped, Alexander would have killed Dimitri with his bare hands

Alexander slept, woke up, looked around the ward

It was early evening Ina was at her station by the door, chatting to three civilian men Alexander stared at the civilian ht

Motionless and alone, he remained with the rucksack on his lap, both of his hands inside, on the white dress with red roses Alexander finally had the answer to his question

He knehat price Tatiana

It was Colonel Stepanov who ca, eyes sunk deep into his ashen face Alexander saluted his commander, who sat down heavily in the chair and said quietly, "Alexander, I almost don’t kno to say this to you I should not be here I’ officer, understand, but as soently "Sir," he said, "your very presence is a balm to my soul More than you know I knohy you’re here"

"You do?"

"Yes"

"Then it’s true? General Govorov caht and said that Mekhlis" -- Stepanov seemed to spit the word out -- "approached him with a slew of information that you have previously escaped fron provocateur? As an Ahed "How can that be? I said it was ridiculous--"

Alexander said, "Sir, I have proudly served the Red Army for nearly six years"

"You have been an exemplary soldier, Major," said Stepanov "I told them that I told them it couldn’t possibly be true But as you know--" Stepanov broke off "The accusation is all You re the Volkhov front, but ninefor a wall to become available"

"I know about Meretskov How much time do you think I have?"

Stepanov was quiet "They will coht," he said at last "I don’t know if you’re familiar with their operations--"

"Unfortunately, very fa at Stepanov "It’s all about stealth and cover-up I didn’t know they had the facilities here in Morozovo"

"Prih up, though They’ll most likely send you across the lake to Volkhov" He spoke in a whisper

Across the lake "Thank you, sir" Heofficer "Do you think they’ll promote me to lieutenant colonel first?"

Stepanov breathed out a choking gasp "Of all my men I had hoped the most for you, Major"

Alexander shook his head "I had the least chance, sir Please, do me a favor If you yourself are questioned about led for his words -- "that despite your valor, there are some battles that are lost fro as you understand that, you will not waste a second’s breath defending my honor or my army record Distance yourself and retreat, sir" Alexander let his gaze drop "And take all your weapons with you"

Stepanov stood

The unspoken remained between them

Alexander couldn’t think of himself, couldn’t think of Stepanov He had to ask about the unspoken "Do you know if there was any mention of ardless "No," he said quietly "But it’s just a matter of time"

Thank God So Dimitri didn’t want them both What he wanted was for them not to have each other, but he still wanted to save his own skin He will never take all from you, Alexander There was hope

Alexander heard Stepanov say, "Can I do anything for her? Maybe arrange for a transfer back to a Leningrad hospital -- or perhaps to a Molotov hospital? Away fro in the other direction "Yes, sir, you actually could do so to help her"

Alexander didn’t have time to think, and he didn’t have time to feel He knew the time for that would s too soon as left of hiht now he had to act As soon as Stepanov left, Alexander motioned for Ina and asked her to call Dr Sayers

"Major," said Ina, "I don’t know if they’re allowing anyone near you after this afternoon"

Alexander glanced at the plainclothedto worry about Do ht? You kno she gets"

"I kno she gets You better be good froood, Ina"

Sayers came a fewon, Major? What’s this about so, Alexander said, "He lost the arm wrestle"

"I’ll say he lost What about his broken nose? Did he lose the nose wrestle, too?"

"Dr Sayers, listen towill to speak What strength he once possessed had left his body and gone to a tiny girl with freckles

"Doctor," he said quietly, "e first spoke about--"

"Don’t say it I know"

"You asked me what you could do to help, remember? And I said to you," Alexander continued, "that you owedhi I desperately need your help"

Sayers s all I can for you Your terminal nurse is quite a persuader"

My ter into himself, Alexander said, "No, listen carefully I want you to do just one thing for me, and only one"

"What is it? If I can do it, I will"

With a halting voice, Alexander said, "Get my wife out of the Soviet Union"

"I am, Major"

"No, Doctor I et the words out "Take Chernenko, the prick with the broken ar about?"

"Doctor, we have very little ti to call you away fro with us"

"I aitation, Sayers exclailish

"Shh," said Alexander "You will need to leave toet about me," Alexander said firnant -- did you know that?"

Sayers shook his head, du to be very scared She is going to need you to protect her Please get her out of the Soviet Union And protect her" Alexander stared away from the doctor His eyes filled withthe river Kama, with the soap on her body They filled withher hands going around his neck and her wargs?

They filled withher co out of Grechesky Hospital in Nove coat, her eyes at her feet; she couldn’t even lift her eyes as she walked past him to her Fifth Soviet life, alone to her Fifth Soviet life

"Save my wife," whispered Alexander

In an e"

Shaking his head, Alexander said, "Do you see the casually dressed men you had to walk past on your way here? Those are NKVD men Remember I told you about the NKVD, Doctor? What happened to my mother and father, and to reat land And they are here for one Tania cannot stay here a et her out"

The doctor still didn’t understand He protested, he shook his head He becaly nervous "Alexander, I will call the US consulate personally I’ll call them tomorrow on your behalf"

Alexander became worried about the doctor Could he even do as needed? Could he keep his composure when he would need it the most? He didn’t see his own composure, "I know you don’t understand, but I don’t have tiland? By the time you call them and they reach the US State Department back home, the Mekhlis blue boys will have taken not only me but her, too What does Tatiana have to do with America?"

"She is your wife"

"I have only my Russian name, the naether with the NKVD to clear up the confusion, it’ll be too late for her Forget me, I said Just take care of her"

"No," Sayers said He bucked, he couldn’t sit He walked around Alexander’s bed, adjusted his blankets

"Doctor!" Alexander exclaih, I know But what do you think will happen to a Russian girl once it’s discovered she isan Ah command? What use do you think the Conant Russian wife?"

Sayers was mute

"I’ll tell you what use -- they will use her as leverage against , or your ill be ‘strictly judged’ Do you knohat that means, Doctor? ItI won’t stand a chance Or they will use ainst her Your husband will be safe, but only if you tell the truth And she will And afterward--"

Shaking his head, Sayers said, "No! We will put you in rad, to Grechesky Right now Get up And from there ill drive to Finland"

"Fine," said Alexander "But those men" -- he nodded in their direction -- "will come with us They will coet either of us out"

Alexander could see that Dr Sayers was grasping at what he could Glancing toward the door, to Ina, to the shuffling, s with her, Alexander shook his head Sayers was not getting it

"What about hi"

"You must take him," whispered Alexander "After this afternoon, he finally understood He thought I would sacrifice her to save ine any other way Now he knows the truth He also knoill not sacrifice her to destroy hi And he is right So take hi else"

Dr Sayers was at a loss for words

"Doctor," said Alexander gently, "stop fighting for me She does that I don’t want you to worry about me; my fate is sealed But hers is wide open Concern yourself only with her"

Rubbing his face, Dr Sayers said, still shaking his head, "Alexander, I’ve seen that girl--" His voice broke "I’ve seen that girl drain her lifeblood into you I’ for you because I knohat it will do to her--"

"Doctor!" Alexander was nearly at the end of his tether "You’re not helpingshe had she gave to o without you?"

"Never," said Alexander

"God! So what can I possibly do?" Sayers exclaimed

"She must never know I’ve been arrested If she finds out, she will not go She’ll stay -- to find out what happened to me, to help me in some way, to see me one last time, and then it will be too late for her"

Alexander told Dr Sayers what they had to do

"Major, I can’t do that!" Sayers exclaimed

"Yes, you can It’s just words from you, Doctor Words and an io wrong And they will," said Alexander "It’s not a perfect plan It’s not a safe plan It’s not a foolproof plan But we have no choice If we’re to succeed at all, we must use all the weapons at our disposal" Alexander paused "Even the ones with no ammunition"

"Major, you’re out of your rabbed the doctor’s wrist "Well, that will depend on you, Doctor! The only chance she has of living is if you get her out If you waver, if you’re unconvincing, if when faced with her grief you weaken and she sees for a split second that you are not telling her the truth, she will not go If she thinks I’o, reo, know that she has days before they come for her" Stricken, Alexander said, "When she sees my empty bed, she will break down in front of you, her fa?ade will crumble, and she will raise her tearful face to yours and say, ‘You’re lying, I know you’re lying I can feel he’s still alive,’ and that’s when you will look at her and you’ll want to corief will be too much for you to take She will say to you, ‘Tell o with you anywhere’ You will pause just for a second, you will blink, you will purse your lips, and in that instant know, Doctor, that you are conde her and our baby to prison or death She is very persuasive, and she is very hard to say no to, and she will keep on at you until you break down Know -- that when you comfort her with the truth, you will have killed her" Alexander let go of Sayers’s wrist "Now, go Look her in the eye and lie Lie with all your heart!" His voice nearly gone, Alexander whispered, "And if you save her, you will help me"

There were tears in Sayers’s eyes as he stood up "This fcking country," he said, "is toohis hand "Now, can you get her for me? I need to see her one last time But come with her Come with her and stand by my side She is shy with other people around She will have to be distant"

"Maybe alone for just aher in the eye? I can’t face her alone Maybe you can hide, but I cannot"

Alexander kept his eyes closed In ten minutes he heard footsteps and her choral voice "Doctor, I told you he’s sleeping What made you think he was restless?"

"Major?" Dr Sayers called

"Yes," said Tatiana "Major? Can you wake up?" And Alexander felt her warm, familiar hands on his head "He doesn’t feel hot He feels fine"

Reaching up, Alexander placed his hand on hers

Here it is, Tatiana

Here is my brave and indifferent face

Alexander took a breath and opened his eyes Tatiana was gazing down at hi affection that he closed his eyes again and said, his lips carrying the cracked words mere centimeters from his mouth, "I’?"

"Open your eyes, soldier," Tatiana said fondly, caressing his face "Are you hungry?"

"I was hungry," Alexander said "But you fedunderneath his sheet

"Why is your IV disconnected?" she said, taking hold of his hand "And why is your hand all black and blue, like you ripped the IV out of the vein? What have you been doing here this afternoon while I was gone?"

"I don’t need the IV anyain "He does feel a bit cold, Doctor," she said "Maybe we can give him another blanket?"

Tatiana disappeared Alexander opened his eyes and saw the doctor’s anguished face "Stop it," Alexander , she covered Alexander and studied him for a moment "I’m fine, really," he said to her "I have a joke for you What do you get when you cross a white bear with a black bear?"

She replied, "Two happy bears"

They smiled at each other Alexander did not look away

"You’ll be all right?" she asked "I’ll coive you breakfast"

Alexander shook his head "No, not in therinned

"Where?"

"Volkhov Don’t be too proud of your husband, all right, but they’re finally lanced at Dr Sayers, who stood by the foot of the bed with a pasty grio withour doctor What do you think of that?"

Grinning, Tatiana leaned into hi to become really insufferable I’ll have to obey your every coet you to obey eneral," Alexander replied

She laughed "When are you co"

"Why then? Why not tomorrow afternoon?"

"They transport across the lake only in the very early s," said Alexander "It’s a little safer There is less shelling"

Sayers said in a weak voice, "Tania, we o"

Alexander shut his eyes He heard Tatiana say, "Dr Sayers, can I have ahis eyes and staring at the doctor, who said, "Tatiana, we really have to be going I have rounds to make in three wards"

"It’ll take but a second," she said "And look, Leo in bed nu for you"

The doctor left He can’t even say no to her when she is asking si close, Tatiana brought her freckled face to hiht at theet a chance to kiss you, will I? I can’t wait until I can kiss you out in the open" Her hands patted his chest "Soon we’ll be out of the thick forest," she whispered

"Kiss me anyway," Alexander said

"Really?"

"Really"

Tatiana bent, her serene hand re on his chest, and her honey lips softly kissed Alexander’s own lips She pressed her cheek against his "Shura, open your eyes"

"No"

"Open theazed at hi, and then she blinked three ti up, she put on her serious face and raising her hand in a salute, said, "Sleep well, Major, and I’ll see you"

"I’ll see you, Tania," said Alexander

She walked to the end of his bed No! he wanted to cry out No, Tania, please come back What can I leave her with, what can I say, what one word can I leave with her, for her? What one word for my wife?

"Tatiasha," Alexander called after her God, as the curator’s nalanced back

"Remember Orbeli--"

"Tania!" Dr Sayers yelled across the ward "Please come now!"

She , I’ht?"

He nodded

Tatiana walked away fro and bringing a sht to Ina and stopped for a second to adjust someone’s blanket At the door she said a feords to Dr Sayers, laughed, and then turned to Alexander one last time, and in Tatiana’s eyes he saw her love, and then she was out the door and gone

Alexander whispered after her, "Tatiana! Thou shall not be afraid for the terror by nightnor for the arrow that flieth by daynor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday A thousand shall fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near thee"

Alexander crossed hiht back to his father’s last words to hiave my life to broken, but will I ever know if I have built them up with my worn-out tools?

Barefoot, Tania stood at attention in front of Alexander, in her yellow dress and with her golden braids peeking out from under his cap Her face was ablaze with an exuberant s her

"Thank you, Captain," she said, co on tiptoe on top of his boot-clad feet Lifting her face to hih up as she could reach without hi his head to her With one hand he held her to him

She stepped a ht, I’ You better catch me Ready?"

"I’ve been ready for fivesqueals chi her fro her ar joyously "Now your turn"

Good-bye, olden days, my fresh water and my fire Good-bye, and ain and your breathless shts up once more at the Western sunrise, be sure what I felt for you was not in vain Good-bye, and have faith, my Tatiana