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I scrolled through my contacts

Mom, dad, Chrissy, Jay, Pam, Nate

I should call Nate Where was he anyway? Maybe he spent the night in Geneva, though I doubted it He probably drove home and passed out

"Hannah?"

The desk clerk so see him non the hall, he's in the first bed on the left"

My terror burbled back up

"Thanks," I said I grabbed ed down the hall to the ICU I blinked rapidly against the sanitized whiteness of the hospital Everywhere I looked I saw monitors and beds and curtains I heard low voices and a periodic groan Doctors and nursesme

First bed on the left

No one stopped me as I slipped into the curtained-off space

Matt lay on a hospital bed, the head inclined Velcro straps tethered his wrists and ankles to the rails He had an IV in one ar was half empty He was asleep, or maybe unconscious A monitor blipped his stats

I sed and crept closer The weight of sorrow crushed my chest I made this happen I made him pour out all his alcohol Iin the first place

Sooith blue spots and socks with rubber paw-shaped grips A tube snaked out of under his gown I touched his chest

"Matt?" I whispered, but I knew he couldn't hear me

There was a pamphlet by his bed: PHYSICAL RESTRAINTS AND YOUR RIGHTS

I kept one hand on Matt's body as I found tone

Just when I thought no one would answer, I heard a click, then Nate's groggy voice

"Hi Hannah, everything okay?"

I began to sob

CHAPTER 27

Matt

NATE SET THE plush manatee on my chest and I touched it reluctantly

It was velvet soft with black plastic eyes I stroked it as I glared at the wall

"A stuffed animal" I sed

"I can't say as to that, though you do a da brusquer than usual Than ever, actually I hugged the stuffed animal to my chest

"What the fuck is your proble in a hospital bed, cut me some slack"

Nate dropped into the chair by ers He looked at my untouched tray of breakfast

"I would like to kno you propose to get out of here without eating, Matt"

"I have no appetite You can Google withdrawal It's kind of a coh his nose He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair God, if he didn't look like a longsuffering saint right now I rolled my eyes

"You know," I said, "you could just send Hannah in here unannounced and try to get her to feedyou'd put h"

"Don't think I haven't tried, Matt Unfortunately, she was so crushed when I told her you didn't want to see her that it would be ridiculous to try to send her in now"

"I don't want her to seedifference"

"Oh, tell that to her!" Nate rose and began to pace I had never seen hiitated He was always the calh of my dirty work"

Dirty work That hurt

"I'll see her when I'own and shave, feel od-forsaken pride I'm pretty sure she's seen you at your worst"

"Yeah, thanks to you," I snapped

Nate and I glared at one another My fucking asshole of a brother Freshly showered, in a tailored suit, he definitely had the upper hand I played with the manatee's flippers

"I had no other choice, Matt And you knohat? She worked I'un on her, you insane son of a bitch"

I winced Mun

"Yes, she told me about that," Nate said, weirdly prescient "And before you ask, I have your gun And you're not getting it back"

"Is she here?"