Page 31 (2/2)

"Oh yes, as usual, she's sitting out in the lobby like a goddamn orphan She wanted to deliver that to you personally" Nate jabbed a finger at my manatee

"Don't touch her," I said

"Excuse ?"

"Cleaning up your s"

I nodded vaguely So,home, but home to where? Home to uncle or home to Denver? Or would Nate try to ship ely neutral on theI wanted, besides Hannah And even Hannah was unknown territory The thought of her filled uilt

"Can I leave?" I said

"Eat your breakfast"

Only Nate could talk to me like that Only Nate could an to poke at the o in the lobby, waiting for Nate Waiting for me A spike of anxiety melted under my meds Fuck, I was heavily medicated It had been five days since I arrived at the hospital I had my own room and I was off the IV, but the nurses and doctors still watched ilantly

My omelet was cold and rubbery I scooped another piece into my mouth I tuckedto look pitiful, but I hty

"God damnit, Matt" He ca in and pressing his forehead to ne and autuainst the prick of tears

"Why auy, you're not fucked up" He stroked my neck "I love you buddy, your brother loves you"

My throat constricted Was he trying to make me cry? I squeezed the manatee

"And Hannah loves you, Matt She really loves you Can't you see that?"

Nate straightened and turned away suddenly He brought a hand to his face

"We're bringing you hoot control of his voice "You need to ful effort with your breakfast, show that your syste to check you The psychiatrist wants to check you out, too Be nice, okay? And you have to proe meds, whatever they are"

"I proht buddy When they're through with you, I'll fill out the discharge paperwork I've brought you some clothes, too"

Another swell of panic ebbed inabout the clothes I had at the cabin I didn't havegood But noas going to see Hannah

"Warm clothes?" I ventured

Nate was at the door He s of mine" He s Indian man I saw hieable and pleasant bedside ood"

I smiled and nodded It was true; I had cleared the hateful tray with its processed oe juice, milk, and toast And I felt sick to my stomach

Dr Parikh listened to my heart and looked into take the Librium for seven days I will prescribe for you a tapered dose You will be having seizures if you do not take it You ," I promised

The doctor spared me any further ad care of yourself, Mr Sky"

The psychiatrist on call was a tall woray-blond hair She lowered the rail and perched on the edge offroly recommend it We have connections with New Mercies Their thirty-day inpatient treatives you the best chance to stay sober as you transition"

Be nice, Nate had said I rubbed ht, I' here clinging to a stuffed manatee from my lover whoht Hannah appeared in the cabin and pulled me off it was lost in a haze of alcohol I reirl

"Matthew? Are you feeling alright?"

I glared at the psychiatrist

I opened my mouth to threaten her with my uncle's lawyer, a New Yorker who razed lives like it was his job (it was), and then clenched ood support fro"

The psychiatrist hassled me for the next ten minutes She asked if I felt suicidal She even asked if I felt houn incident She reviewed n the release of information form, we'll fax your notes to your psychiatrist in Denver You should schedule a folloith hioing to be drugged duer

Finally she left

Nate returned, bea He said the doctor and psychiatrist had okayedof clothes at the end of my bed

"Come on out when you're ready I'll be just outside"

God, I could have kissed hiray pair of Arreen V-neck cash in the feel of real clothes against rip the counter The roohted itself Damn, I eak And I didn't look so hot I shaved and avoidedpsych

I held the plush e of ood chunk of ti uncertainly at ood"

"Oh, yeah Thanks" I s?" He picked up the duffel bag and scouted around He glanced at the manatee clutched in my hand "Got your little friend there?"

"Yeah"

"Paperwork's done, I just need your signature"

"Okay"

I stood carefully Nate wrapped an arm around rateful I scribbled my name on two papers and the nurse behind the desk wished uided me to the lobby I stared at the tiles

"Here he is!" Nate announced with forced cheer I didn't look up In the high shine on the floor, I saw a shape approaching Fuck, I was still wearing my hospital bracelet I yanked at it