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She was no longer my Hannah, my little bird, my slut

She never had been

I spent the rest of the week in et Hannah back I ize I even made a list of specious clai at your house, I lost Laurence

Admittedly, these lies were petty and pathetic, but the key was to brainstorh, I would find the solution

I emailed and called Hannah multiple tiht I knew she wanted ht for ht coht day, would bring her back to e of calls and emails came my way--fro nored theuess that hen I "assaulted" the reporter The story was a gross exaggeration

To be fair, I don't remember exactly what happened, but I find it hard to believe that I beat thepapers

I know it happened around noon I remember the dreamlike heat I was starved, dizzy, headed to the corner store to buy a bag of litter for Laurence

I re out toaway

"Matthew, hey, Matthew Sky, right here!"

He was chasingthat tenacious asshole could be the saency

He could be the reason she didn't cos to explain I needed that chance

I needed to cry with her

I needed to hold her

That reporter, he got to her He stopped her He ruined it

Then I re the sidewalk My fists hurt and they were hot and wet

I ran home and locked my door, washed my hands and sat in the bathtub

My uncle's lawyer handled the assault charges Then, without any encouragement from me, he launched the libel suit that would ultimately shut down Fit to Print

After that, I only went out at night I wore a hoodie with the hood up, sunglasses, and sneakers I could outrun anything I ran everywhere I went

I jogged to payphones and tried Hannah's cell I drove past her house

I took cold showers and only ate when the hunger hurt I did jus with Hannah I needed to keep up y

Another week passed and I called Paod, check your eh my apartment with my cell to my ear I was always ready to run When Hannah called, I would be ready to go to her, no ot your ee control?"

"I guess" I circled the kitchen island "I' to ask about Hannah"

"Hannah? What about her?"

"How is she?"

"How are you e caainst the counter God, I inded

"Why won't you tellon?"

"Hannah is fine She's a first-rate secretary Are you writing? Not that I could bla?" I sat on the kitchen floor Fuck, I had to get some water into my system "How is she? Is she there?"

"Matthew Whatever this is, I a it Hannah is your friend If you need to talk to her, you talk to her I's to discuss, and--"

"Are you talking to the reporter?"

"Excuseto him? The reporter Is Hannah?"

"Look, I need you to--"

I ended the call

Fuck

I guzzled a bottle of water and started to laugh I was thinking about how Hannah would laugh at ood thing going We laughed about Laurence And that night when I got on the webcahed pretty hard

"You're a funny little bird," I said, s my head

I started to read the news online

The Fit to Print people still had a huge boner for er than ever They printed everything they could get their hands on

I wrote long,of boners, I was blessedly free of theotten it up if I tried I didn't try Arousal would only distract me

I printed the emails I wrote to Hannah and filed the to think she had blockedthem, she would have called

I typed and printed letters for her I kept a daily diary addressed to Hannah So the way she looked and laughed I apologized I revoked ain I told her about Laurence I described the reporter and warned her to steer clear

I also one-sidedly continued the story of Cal and Lana Nothing was over Everything went into the rowing sense of urgency about getting the material to Hannah I needed to see her

My brothers and uncle called and emailed relentlessly What the fuck did they want? I couldn't deal with the me anxious

I couldn't lose focus

I hadn't seen Hannah, but I kneas close to getting her back If I could just get the envelope to her The letters explained everything

Bethany textedwith a friend I'll be over on Friday to get my stuff Stay away from the apartment this weekend

Under different circumstances Bethany's tone would have pissed me off, but I wanted to see her about as ust o days away and I'd be daathered Bethany's stuff fro rooh I could have She was the source, I knew it, and we had a non-disclosure agreee was already done, and the lawsuit would bring more publicity