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I packed a light bag and installedrooht my manila envelope

At the last minute, I slid oing to do I couldn't trust Paht greet un

If I ht throw it away Plus, I needed to talk to so

On Friday night, I dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt, and of courseood plan

My phone rang

For fuck's sake, it was rumbled "Look, could you not call anymore ton--"

"Hey buddy, there you are"

I paused

I could picture Nate's face as he spoke Warm, open, patient Nate was est Nate had always been the best of us He had a family, a brilliant career, and a natural charisrad school--and all through h tuside mental Seth and my uncle just wanted to smack soh, that finally nudged me onto the path to sobriety--and sanity

"Hey" I sat on the edge of the bed "I'm kind of--"

"I know, you're kind of busy," Nate cut in s Listening to it, I realized how ot so to do" I tapped the envelope on ot an idea for you buddy"

"Have you talked to any reporters?"

"Nah Now listen Matt"

I rose and began to pace

"They're telling everything about me Have you seen it? On the internet"

"Nah, I don't read that bullshit I've got a great idea for you"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, we miss you buddy Me and Seth, the kids Uncle What do you think about getting out of Denver for a while?"

I tightenedout of Denver? I started to jog, going fros to do here"

"Like what?"

"Loose ends," I said A fine sweat broke out on s"

"Loose ends? Slon there buddy, I can't understand you"

"I've got stuff going on out here I can't leave; I need to s happen"

"Matt? Listen, I really want you to come out here Take a real break, take it easy"

"I can't leave!" I snapped

"Hey, sure you can You take your time and then co, and all sum hysterically Nate had to know about Hannah He was trying to pull me away from her Fuck, he'd spoken to the reporter Maybe he spoke to Pam

"Buddy, where are you? Are you in your apartment?"

I rushed to the hotel s and snapped the curtains shut

"Why do you want to know?" I whispered

"Matt? I can't understand you, hang on Letto stop me?

I left the hotel in a cold sweat I drove into Boulder, watchingunder the speed limit I held the manila envelope on ht Tiht into one of Colorado's capricious summer storainst my s so that I couldn't hear myself think Fuck, at least it wasn't hail

I parked on Pearl Street and tucked the envelope under ed to the alley where the DYNAMITE sign shone like a beacon I laughed and paced the narrow backstreet

God, I wanted to patpaid off Chrissy was the key Chrissy liked me She would take my envelope to Hannah, I knew it

The rain stopped and the night air cooled sharply I hovered around the entrance to the club I checked my watch 11:00 p bouncer e for a friend"

"Oh yeah, you got a friend in here? Get in or get lost"

I had planned to catch Chrissy going into work or leaving, but maybe the bouncer had a point I could find her inside Fuck though, I didn't want to see Hannah's sister topless

"Okay," Imy pocket

Shit I left lowered at

I darted up the alley and pressed ainst the brick wall out front No way, I didn't need another round of assault charges, and I didn't need to be filing theed sporadically to keep war Colorado with a cold night in August

Around 3:00 am, a familiar voice jolted me from my stupor

"I'll see you to down the alley "Ha! Pretty sure I won, try harder girl"

I would have recognized her voice anywhere It was Hannah's voice, just a touch huskier Relief rushed through me Fuck, I wanted to cry This was it