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I stood in the parking lot until she drove off The day hadn’t gone exactly as I’d hoped, but it could’ve been worse She could have turned ed to save what could’ve been a colossal fuck-up on my part

Chapter 2

Calida

Once I pulled into the garage, I turned off the car and letto pick up Shawn, but he was probably already in bed Plus, Mom would want to knohy I wasn’t with Malcolm I didn’t want to have that talk with my mother

Malcoliven me I’d told him I didn’t want this I’d told hie of women that wanted him, but he’d refused He wanted to prove his coed Mo plans On top of that,to juht Why would he do that? Because he didn’t know No one knew, and it needed to stay that way

I cli the button on the wall, the garage door hummed to life and closed out the rest of the world I paused before entering the house I didn’t want to go into the dark and empty place alone, but that was my only choice The house was eerily quiet; I hadn’t expected to be out so late, even with the adjusthts on Thecreepy shadows along the floor I hung

I’d decorated every room in this place, but it’d never felt like ho myself to leave None of them understood it, and I couldn’t explain it to them How could I tell them that here, of all places, was the one place I could let down uard? Despite all that happened, I could come back here at the end of each day and si to worry about ave a bitter laugh at the irony

My favorite room was Shawn’s, so that’s where I headed At first, I’d hated that it was upstairs, since the master bedrooave me the perfect and believable excuse for why I’d uest room next door to his

I flipped the switch, flooding Shawn’s Thoy into decorating his room with the help of my ex-business partner, Kerrin She’d asked if I’d return to work, but I couldn’t A Won had been an illusion, like much of my life with Seth He’d made me think the business had been mine, but in truth it’d been another way he’d held control over me

The loneliness surrounded me as I stood in the center of Shawn’s vacant space I wanted him here to hold, to talk to I confided in my toddler more than I did Dr Carr More than I did anyone I wanted hi I needed alone time with Malcolm There’d been a time when I would have ju I didn’t want or need

Closingthe kiss Mal had given ht to be dead They needed to re was all I needed It was neat; simple I’d constructed it that way, and that’s hoas supposed to stay But Malcoler pacified with my excuses

Malcolm There were three hundred and sixty-five days in the year, and he’d picked today I was angry that he’d done it in general, but especially since he’d chosen today The anniversary of Seth’s death The one day I allowed h Dr Carr didn’t think I had a reason to feel guilty for killing him She said I’d done what I needed to do in order to protect ret So uilt and remorse? Without it, I was no better than Seth

I needed a drink

Turning off the light, I headed downstairs I pulled out a Moscato frolassful

I held lass up toward the lady on the cliff “Cheers” I’d spent hours sitting on the couch staring at that painting, wishing I could be her—free and away from it all