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On Thursday, we packed up the car and left for Arlington We were staying at a hotel on the outskirts of the city, close to the ce Dan’s plaque on the Columbarium, because I’d know that behind it sat the urn with Dan’s remains It made me think of his death in that chopper in a desert storm We had so few details of the mission because it was classified, but I knew he died in the crash along with two Marines

Their fa up with the everything would open the old wounds again After Beckett, I didn’t need anything else to hurt

I was nu them lead the way,out theat nothing as we drove fro the scenery The entire trip,I could remember that Beckett said to me, e did, to see if there were any clues He did repeatedly say, in a joking s He said I shouldn’t ask hi questions, given Dan’s ith Special Operations Forces, especially his last deployment, so I hadn’t pushed I had no idea that he didn’t want to tell ht faced to me about what he knew

He had

“You okay, hun?” Jeanne said froot your letters They upset you”

I nodded and forced a sht it all back to me”

I turned away, ht maybe Dan had thrown the letters out, for they weren’t with his belongings when they brought his remains back home It hurt me a bit because he told me he kept them with hiood luck

But in the aftermath of his death, in all the confusion around the event and the lack of details, I was too upset to think about it The first month after his death I spent on his bed in the bedroom that Jeanne kept as it had been since he was a teen and when he first joined up His Star Wars and Marvel posters were all there, beside the cork board where his ribbons froh school were pinned His football trophies, his academic achievee, and trained as a Hospital Corps so he could become qualified for independent duty and was attached to Fleet Marine Force Recon As a Fleet Marine Force Warfare Specialist, he was invited to be a h honor

He was so brave…

My brave warrior I fell in love with hith and easy smile, his sense of humor and his love of life He was an honorableto put his life on the line for his country

I sighed and braced myself for the ceremony, and tried to put on a brave stoic face so I could meet the other families and offer ether between the initial funerals and today’s anniversary memorial, but there was a common bond with the other families that could not be denied when you shared a loss with someone

Our loved ones fought together and were injured or died together

Only the families and friends left behind understood what it felt like to be in our shoes

We stayed at a small hotel close to the cemetery, and had a quiet dinner in the hotel’s restaurant I didn’t feelafter dinner and spent thean eBook on forensic science, trying to get my mind back into the world I’d left a year earlier when Dan died It was futile I read the sa the Kindle off and going to sleep

In the , we all dressed and decided to make an early trip out to the cemetery before the memorial, because anted to be alone for a while before the other families joined us We parked in the lot to the east of the Columbarium where Dan’s ashes were kept and as alked up to the stone arches, with row upon row of plaquesthe spots where the dead were interred, I saw a Marine in unifor close to where Dan’s reainst the wall, his hand on a plaque He turned and even fronized him instantly