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I forget who he is The kiss has me trapped so suddenly, I can easily believe we’ve been in a relationship for over ten years, and this is the special, perfect guy I was always meant to be with, my boyfriend, my lover, my man

Except we have been in a relationship for over ten years

We just never dared to call it that, because we never dared to cross that definitive line

Not until now

His hand slides down ainst hiether

Is he hard, or is that his belt buckle? Shouldn’t I be able to tell?

He pulls away froainst my lips

My eyes open slowly, e from it I look upon his out-of-breath face, his now-rosy cheeks, his full, parted lips

Neither of us say anything, just staring at each other’s eyes in a total state of what-the-fuck-just-happened His tattered red-and-white hat is nearly knocked off his head, tufts of his bangs messily flipped out from under it His nostrils are flared fro his breath His muddy brown eyes look freaked

The doors to Nadine’s cal a sharp, coive us a diminutive, nonexistent look as they pass, blissfully unaware of the profound,that just transpired between a pair of best friends before they stepped out of that restaurant

We’re still holding each other

Maybe we just finished a hug Maybe he’s teachingin front of the restaurant Maybe I alht me

Maybe that last sentence is truer than I intended it to be

“That …” I start to say

“Was a?” breathes Jimmy quickly

I stare at him, then finish my sentence: “… isn’t how brothers love each other”

He squints at

“You said you love me like a brother,” I explain

“Oh Right” His eyes drop to my chin

I can literally see the terror painting his face Reality returns to him “That was the third time you’ve kissed me,” I point out

“I know” He reluctantly ain

“Jily

“I don’t know”

The doors open again This ti the restaurant toexperience at Nadine’s

It’s Malcolm, who stands at the opened door and stares at ether Then, as if the first thing he noticed wasn’t actually the sexy dude attached to nition is slow to dawn, but it dawns, and the boy’s already stiff posture grows stiffer still He says nothing at all