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You know

What happened

You don’t know, and it’s okay I couldn’t bringthis letter I’m about to rip it up or hide it I just need to keep , both of them shake from the meds

I don’t feel good, Miller

I don’t want to do the ECT again Having the seizure from the ECT does make me sleepy after- just like you were

I love you Please stay safe Don’t ride bikes and don’t have any seizures Love me- okay? Can you please still love me? Even if it’s been a while?

I’ll always love you too

Your Ezra

Third Quarter

One

Ezra

December 19, 2018

“Are you sure about this?” My mom Skeptical…or upset

I peel h the bleary spikes of my eyelashes

“Yes,” a woman answers “He woke up from anesthesia Didn’t knohere he was There was some resistance So that’s e increased his sedation We had the counselor in, and she asked…you know…about his memory”

My heart beats a little quicker

“He ren But he thought that he had finished ECT He said he was going to play football again When we asked what year, he said his senior year That’s hoe knew,” the wo “As you know, o over each time In the consent forms”

I try to s, but my throat hurts It feels too dry

“Yes, well, he did that,” h-heels as she steps intoonto a nurse “He had a standout senior year in football,” my mom tells her “Now has multiple offers for scholarships”

The blood drains froain What is she talking about?

“He re at your house When I asked what he’s done lately, he said he has a Jeep he likes and he’s been running Lifting weights The e,” the nurse says “He may recall more this afternoon Or next week It could be a ain meo back several months It’s different for every patient Since his memory has been affected, we’ll have Dr Katz call to touch base with you this evening or to from bilateral to unilateral On the paper assessnificant level for depression Despite what you—and he—reported So, unilateral h for the reiven…these side effects”

I stare up at the ceiling Popcorn ceiling I’ot football scholarships?