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He looked up tentatively at Elena, worried suddenly that he had just outed himself as a selfish, indolent fool who had just used his mother’s death to explain away his complete lack of drive

“It’s not a good reason,” he tacked on abashedly

“I don’t think that’s your reason at all,?

? Elena replied

Neal looked at her, taken back by her statement

“I think you adopted a shallow lifestyle to try and convince yourself that you were a shallow person,” Elena said bluntly

“Why would I do that?” he asked in surprise

“So that you wouldn’t have to analyze your life choices So that you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about your lack of interest in the family business So that you could numb the pain of your mother’s death”

Elena said what she had to with a straight face and no expression She felt for Neal, but she didn’t want to sit there and pretend like she believed what he was telling her Neal processed Elena’s words He tried to see if there was any truth to the but confusion

“It’s OK, Neal,” Elena’s voice was kind “We don’t always understand ourselves We cope the best e can You are a good guy, you’re just a little lost We’ve all been there”

Neal sighed and looked up, feeling drained “Have you been lost? Somehow, I doubt that I just can't see it in you”

Elena laughed without humor “Why… because I act like I have all the answers? Maybe that’smechanism”

“Is it my turn, then?” Neal asked

Elena shot hi look

“To ask a question?” Neal clarified