Page 22 (1/2)

Neal fell silent He had never analyzed his decisions before He did what he felt like, and didn’t dig any deeper than that It was a co opposite him, he felt the need to want to explain, but the sad truth was, he knew he didn’t have a good enough explanation It struck hiht of him

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Elena said, her voice soft

“I’uess I’”

He tried to collect his chaotic thoughts; they were going off in different directions One thread pulled him towards his childhood, another one pulled towards memories of his father, another one pulled towards e There was a tiny voice in the back of his head that told Neal that they were all connected

“My mother died when I elve,” he said suddenly

Elena looked up in surprise She had not expected that frofeatures, but she noticed that his eyes were sad She wondered if they had always been, or if she had only now paid enough attention to notice She didn’t say anything, knowing how hollow anything she said would sound Instead, she stayed silent and let him tell his story at his own pace

“My mother… she was a stay at home mom,” Neal started slowly, “and she was a brilliant one She was like a child herself sorew me pretty fast, and when that happened, Mom sort of filled in for hi brother’ We were really close”

Elena smiled, but she was conscious of how sad a smile it was She leaned over and placed her hand over Neal’s Before he continued, he slowly changed its position so that they were holding hands His voice was stronger when he started speaking again

“When my dad started his business, it felt like I lost hiether always, I used to consider her my best friend, and she used to say I was hers”

“What happened?”

“Car accident,” Neal replied bluntly “She was pickingrong before anyone told me… she was never late”

Elena looked down at her hands because it suddenly got very hard to look at Neal

“I took her death badly,” Neal said, his voice suddenly clipped “I had to take time away from school I couldn’t eat or sleep I could barely function Dad and George looked afterso that my life would be easy, so that I would never have to worry about anything I think they felt that I had enough of a burden to carry around after Mom’s death”

He shook his head, as though he could clear it that way

“After a while, the pain sort of… blunted I couldn’t feel it as acutely, and slowly, things went back to nore, and I tried to find so in the future But nothing ever stuck, and I guess there wasn’t any pressure I’d already received , and by then I was used to the perks and the luxuries, without the responsibility”