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But I' but fine

Things are fucked up

Fucked up so bad I feel absolutely helpless and without any clear direction on how to make it better

I haven't seen Vale in four days Since that awful fucking night out by the airport when I had the best orgasirl I's are supposed to happen

I'

Best Fucking Orgasm Ever

So powerful it sucked everything out ofI was confused by the force of the response to Vale and the way in which ere fucking The exquisite sensitivity to her; the solid connection of our bodies and even so more than that

She told me she loved ht before those words tu a dance party on cloud nine Instead, those words pierced throughthat lasted long, but a finite stab of anger pulsed within o back to that revered place we both shared once long ago I wasn't the same She wasn't the same What we had was different now, and in a , I refused to let myself believe that love was even possible

And I told her such

Things clearly eroded from there There was a mad scramble by Vale off of my lap where she aardly pulled her clothes on while I tried to s better with a multitude of idiotic statements

I' here Let's talk about this

I care for you, Vale Surely you can see that

Wait a ure this out

These lame attempts to spark a conversation fell flat She refused to look at ot dressed, and when she was fully clothed and I was still bare-ass naked, she said in a soft voice, "I'd like to go home now"

I sighed and rolled over, pulling my clothes on slowly I felt that with every article I put back on, I was heading faster toward the demise of e had beco I could think to do was smack myself on the forehead and blurt out, "Silly meI was confused I do, in fact, love you too"

But I couldn't do that It simply wasn't true, and the only explanation I had for this innate feeling of not being able to reciprocate was because I didn't trust Vale not to hurt ain So I, in turn, hurt her

Yeah, I'm pretty much a douche

After an aardly silent start to the journey back to her apart She's actually the one that started it

I jerked when she said in such a confused voice, "I don't understand I thought I had it figured out"

I seized the opportunity to try to get this turned around in a positive manner Like a ht up in the s for each other, and sometimes they can seem multiplied when you're in the middle of--"

"No," she cut in on me quietly "I'm not mistaken in how I feel I do love you I'm just confused on about why you don't love me back"

That shut me the fuck up, for all of about two minutes Then as carefully as I could, with all hope still surging that I could still salvage this with her, I said, "I can't

explain it, but soainst it, Vale I'm just not ready to say it back"

"Why?" she presseddetermined to uncover the truth as to why she was so far off the mark

I sighed, turned the radio completely off, and said, "HonestlyI think I don't trust you not to hurt ain I think the betrayal of what you didthe way you cut o"

I felt it before I saw it Alrees, then I ih my peripheral vision I turned er I saw in her eyes I expected to see contrition, but she was pissed

"You can't let it go?" she asked incredulously

"Apparently not," I said, withI felt I still deserved to be offended I thought I still had the right to be wary