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"You are a fucking hypocrite," she spat at me

My head jerked to look at her again, but she turned away from me to stare out theShe never said another word Theher back to her car, she jetted out faster than lightning I should have gone after her, but I didn't have the energy I figured I'd give her time to cool off, and we'd hopefully be able to talk about itnext to her on the plane and we'd figure it all out I had hoped, given tis slowly Giving s time to develop and catch up to hers

Yup I'm a moron

Athat I could exist in a relationship based on inequitable feelings Totally a duave her credit for

She didn't show up at the airport the next day for our road trip and panic surged within rabbed Goose, pulled him aside before we boarded, and deo on the road He just shrugged and said, "She wasn't feeling well Called ht and asked me to take this trip"

Okay, she's hurt and now pissed I get it I expected her to keep silent and ignore me for four days, so I was beyond shocked when I called her that night froeles and she picked up on the second ring

"Hey," she said softly

My norethat really had s, I never want to hurt Vale I knohat it feels like and I don't want her to feel that way So I asked, "Are you okay?"

I heard her blow out a breath, and with a tired voice she said, "Yeah I'ether"

"I'm sorry," I told her sincerely "I didn't mean to hurt you"

"I know," she said, and I could even hear an accepting ss, just as I know you can't judge mine"

"I don't want this to end, Vale Can we talk about this?"

"Sure," she said, and I felt a wealth of relief in that one siet back"

I hung up and felt ht? Except she never said it back to me that she didn't want it to end either That could have been an oversight, but it could also have been a roundabout way of her saying it's not going to work This, of course, left me dazed and confused for the next four days I didn't try to call her again and she never called me I'm ashamed to say this hurt, but I'm not sure why I'm sure she was equally as hurt

So I played like shit in our back-to-back gaons Irumpy and irritable, and the only one that seeht at dinner to getthe team" and I knew that to be true

But in about fifteen oing to head to her apartment I had texted her before we boarded, asked if I could come over to talk, and she responded with just one word "Okay"

--

When I pull into her apart her car up, as ifat the top of the staircase, sitting pensively, staring down at ht

"Hey," I say, and I'ives me a smile of welcome

"Hey" Her voice is hesitantnervous

"Dave inside?" I ask, nodding toward her apartment door

"He fell asleep in his recliner so I thought we could talk out here"

I nod and take a seat next to her, buainst hers I feel out of sorts, and push for that little touch, hoping it grounds me I don't knohat to say to make this better, but I need to make it better I'm not ready for this to be over

Vale surprisesher head on my shoulder Her hand slips in between us and findsher throat, she says, "I'm sorry"

"Me too," I say quickly, because I aive her what she needs But maybeone day

"I ruined as a perfectly great night," she says apologetically "Let s up"

This does not sit ith me Which is odd, because for the last four days, I've wanted nothing more than Vale to co too fast And now that she see ihtly nauseated