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My heart squeezes behind e as I think about my memories with Ryan While I had years with Ian, I only had less than four weeks with Ryan Sure, we’ve spent the last fourto know each other, but it’s not enough What will I tell RJ about hih to make sure he knows his daddy I don’t have memories to share We never went to themoments We didn’t have any inside jokes Hell, we haven’t even gone on a single date I guess his family will have to share their memories with him…

Sobs bubble up and over, racking ot to have with Ryan We created the ot to experience parenthood together There’s so ht be too late—I et to know him

Lifting the hoodie overto make it feel like Ryan’s body is wrapped around mine As my heart thumps loudly and painfully in my chest, I weep into the blanket, until my lids can’t handle the pain any me to fall into a fitted sleep

Ryan

“Fuck!” I fling the useless device across the vehicle “Fucking piece of shit won’t turn on”

“Well, it’s been through hell,” Sergio points out “Literally”

I give hih over the past week is probably the definition of hell If not, I iine it’s dahani terrorists all dead—some by their own hands and some by ours—also ended with two of our men dead I didn’t know any of them well, since they weren’t part of my squad, but it still hits each one of us hard as hell We took a bad fucking loss that day Once everything was under control, we spent days getting everything sorted I knewout, but I had no way of co with them And even if I could’ve, I wouldn’t have been allowed to Because of the attack, ere under strict black out orders until ere back on US soil

“Can I borrow yours?”

“Yeah” He hands me his phone

I go to type Micaela’s nu know it by heart Luckily, I know Marco’s He answers on the first ring “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Ryan”

There’s a long pause and then a deep sigh “Thank fuck You okay?”

“Yeah, just running a few days late,” I joke, trying to o into details over the phone

“Not funny,” he snaps “We’ve been worried sick We thought…” He sighs “Your mom said…”

“My ?