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“We’re only a phone call away,” Mo a kiss to my forehead first and then another one to RJ’s, who’s still blissfully gunorant to the fact that without hi his father, he’s more than likely lost him

As soon as everyone reluctantly leaves, I sit on the couch with RJ Grabbing my laptop, I pull up the video of Ryan I should probably be checking the internet to find out the details of the attack, but it won’t do any good It doesn’thim back I know that all too well

Instead, I click on the video RJ and I have watched over a hundred times in the last four etting RJ’s attention We watch the video every night before bed RJ doesn’t understand it, he’s too young, but because we’ve done it every day, he squeals, excited to do so he knows

His hands slap the screen as Ryan says hello to RJ “Hey there, little guy This is your dad, Ryan You don’t know it, but we have the same name”

Ryan’s eyes water, but he takes a deep breath, refusing to let theo, when I told him he needed toto make them, but deep down he knew it had to be done, and this is why

“I’ this outfit because I’ on a shs softly “My job is to build and fix things” He shrugs aardly “U while you’re watching this Fixing things” He gnaws on his bottom lip, closes his eyes, then takes a deep breath and opens them “I just want you to kno much I love you I’ve only known you for a couple weeks, but fuc—I mean… Jesus, I suck—I mean stink at this” He chuckles humorlessly “I just need you to kno much I love you and your mom You don’t know me yet, but I’ll be ho to know you My dad—your grandpa—and I are real close He taught ht ht me how to play sports He was always the coach of every team I played on”

Ryan ss thickly, sniffling back his erow up… hear you say your first word… be there when you take your first step” He curses under his breath “Just do hs, shaking his head

“I hope you’re being good for yourout “Give her lots of hugs and kisses forhis shaved head “I love you so much, RJ And I love you, Micaela I know you said no promises… but, I’ll see you both soon” And with one last smile, his face disappears and the video ends

I told hile letter or text, but in this video He did And now he’s going to break his pro to caler and I don’t want RJ to see that To feel that He needshas been confirmed There’s still hope He could be at a different base, perfectly fine and getting ready to head ho late That’s all it is… But deep down, I know that’s not true And lying to ood

Micaela

Four Days Later

“Sweetheart, please let me take RJ,” Mom insists Her eyes are filled with a mixture of pity and sympathy It’s been four days since Kayla dropped the bohanistan, and since then, nobody has heard anything I want to believe that, since we haven’t been notified of his death, he’s still alive, but we also haven’t heard fro on over there is bad and they just haven’t gotten around to notifying us yet

“You need a break,” she insists “You’ve been holed up here for the last four days with RJ Please, let me help”

“I’m his mom,” I snap “I don’t need or want a break RJ needs me” I’m most likely the only parent he has left, I think but don’t say out loud