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“Follow my lead,” I instructed

Pushing off, I moved her around the empty room, the music barely audible as irled and stepped I looked down at her, so in my throat, and it hurt, but I couldn’t look away, either

I didn’t need her I’d made a beautiful family, not just

And still, holding her inI realized how

Souys or vent to the women, but I wouldn’t Not ever

I wanted to be strong for theain, or Rika to see

I never wantedless than a man

I wasn’t sure why, but with Christiane, I didn’t care if I wasn’t the strongest in the room Even well into my thirties, I had to admit, I kind of still wanted a mom

A ht be there for the times you were vulnerable

Pulling her in closer, I carried her around the floor, hearing her breathe out a laugh as we spun, her feet barely touching the ground the faster I moved

How strange it was to be a parent For so h I knew I’d do so s differently if I’d been her, I could at least understand how hard it probably was to be desperate for your child and watch another woman raise him

Between Christiane, Natalya, and Gabriel, they did everything wrong

But I was still here

Banks was still here Rika was still here Despite everything, we survived our parents

Not once had Banks or Rika ever bla but blame Christiane for the past decade

How easily could my own kids turn around and do the same? All this love I had for them, and they could still hate me

I slowedon my shoulders, and I was so tired all of a sudden

And scared She wanted to be more, but she failed How did I knoouldn’t? How could I stand there and judge her, acting all high and hty? No one knehat the future held

Christiane looked up at