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He walks in, shutting the door softly behind him

I try to ainst further pain "What do you want, Nix?"

"You"

My legs turn to jelly over that one simple word Does he understand the power of what he's just said? The fact that I am ready to submit to that power leaves me shaken

I shake hts "I think it's a little late Don't you?"

"Probably But I need to try"

I turn away fro room I can hear hi it will fortify ar in my mouth

"Emily," he says softly and I cannot help but look at hi lost in his eyes "I will never be able to tell you how sorry I aivable The only thing I can do is offer you a way to understand them"

He hasto say "How's that?"

"I want you to coton, DC I want to explain to you what happened in Afghanistanwhy I freaked out when you saw the s to you"

"And you can't do that here?"

He shakes his head, determination hard on his face "No To make it count, it has to be done in front of one other person My best friend, Paul"

Huh? He has a best friend named Paul?

I didn't know this but why as about Nix

"When did you want to go?"

"Now"

Now? Holy shit

"I know I' this on you," he continues, "but I desperately want to fix things with you and this is the only way The sooner we can go, the sooner you can begin to fully understand me That isif you want to"

I don't need to think about this I can't help it but I love Nix Caldwell If he is willing to go out on a lio to the moon with him if he asks

I'h to know that this doesn'tmore than a means to understand him at this point

None of that h Not really

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for Nix

"Okay, let's go"

Our trip to DC is uneventful and fairly quiet Nix tellsaround the country with Harley They drove out to California and back He said he used the time to think He also talked to his neuropsychiatrist, Dr Antoniak, by phone a few times They apparently discussed me but Nix said he would tellI knew about Paul was that he was supposedly Nix's best friend and that they served in the Marine Corps together during his last tour there

When we got close to Paul's house, Nix actually pulled into a hotel He explained it would probably be late e finished up at Paul's and that ould stay the night He came back out with two rooh the thought of two rooms saddened me It makes h this

Nix drives us a few miles down the road and we enter into a shborhood He finally finds the house he is looking for and we pull in

Turning to ers downready to hear is so this because I want you to understand why I flipped out on you I'ive me"

I just nod because I don't knohat to say He hasthe worst and I can only pray that whatever I'm about to learn about Nix is not so horrific that my memories of him will be tarnished forever I think I ht now

We get out of his truck and Nix leads me up the front porch With every step he takes, his shoulders beco off to his death

After a brief knock, the door is thrown open and I see a handso out at Nix He has very short hair, buzzed the saht blue He stands much shorter than Nix but you can tell he works out His build under his t-shirt and sweatpants is solid

"Nix Caldwell," theday you just showed up on my doorstep"

His words are soft His eyes are sparkling with soh it could just be tears Nix doesn't uy doesn't notice Instead, he steps towards Nix and wraps hi Nix hesitates for just a second, then his arhtly around the other man

Pulling apart, Nix steps back toward ood friend of mine"

My eyebrows rise Good friend? Is that true?

I have no clue e are to each other If you asked s ended--I'm not sure ere much more than fuck-buddies Emphasis on the fuck part, not the buddy