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Then he released me and backed up a few feet

“I… I need to get back”

I inhaled raggedly, ot off the car, du, and went to the driver’s side door

Derek hadn’t moved

“Aren’t you co?” I asked

He smiled… but it was a sad smile

“No… I need to walk”

I felt fear rising in me a little “I can drive you, it’s not a problem – ”

“I know But I need to walk I just… I need to be alone for a little while”

The fear was turning to panic

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah”

“Are you mad at me?”

He smiled and shook his head “No”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I want you… and I can’t have you That’s what’s wrong”

We stood there in silence, staring at each other in the shadows

“I’ll see you tomorrow Around four,” he said quietly, and then he turned around and disappeared into the darkness

I watched hiot in my car and sat there, stunned

And burst into tears

47

I barely slept that night I was frantic that I would never see hi

But Derek was good as his word He came by the next day at four o’clock sharp

When he showed up, he was his old self, laughing and teasing and grinning Shanna was there, and she told him all about how she’d covered for h he never hts out ofover to have Shanna ‘rock his world’ incident

I was thankful for that, at least

Derek and I went and played pool at the student center The entire time we kept up an easy banter back and forth He had an incredible way of putting ht had never happened

But of course, it had And we both knew it

I wanted to say, Aren’t we going to talk about last night?

But I was afraid to talk about it