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He said with ME with such passion, with such ferocity, that I had to steady ot so weak

He turned and stared at me Looked at my lips… and then looked into my eyes

And then leaned forward to kiss me

I put out a hand to ward him off

“No,” I said, uished

He kept pressing forward, his lips within an inch of mine –

I scra

But it was tre with disappointment and heartache, not fear

“No, I… I can’t,” I whispered

“Why not?” he derily, but bewildered, like he couldn’t understand and desperately wanted to

I sat there for a long, long moment, completely silent

When I finally answered, I had to stifle a sob

“My… my mother… she cheated on my dad when I was a kid”

Getting those words out was incredibly painful, like pulling out an infected splinter… but it was a relief to finally say it I’d never told anyone about it, not even er

As soon as I said it, Derek’s body slumped the tiniest bit

“Oh,” he said, as though he finally understood

“It almost destroyed h they stayed together, it was never the same”

He nodded soine”

“That’s why I can’t… do anything with you I don’t want… I can’t cheat on hi with him

He was silent a long time

Then he nodded gently “I understand”

“…you… you do?”

“Yeah” Then his voice changed froed to not sound callous as he said it: “You should break UP with hiet around to that soon enough”

“I’ to break up with him,” I whispered

He shrugged noncommittally, like, If you say so

“He’s a good guy,” I insisted

“I know he is”

I frowned “How do you know?”

“Because if you love hiuy”

That knocked the wind out of me

I didn’t say anything for a long while

“Do you love him?” Derek asked quietly

“I… yes”

It didn’t sound convincing, even to me