page6 (1/2)

I was beco I lostfrom me He took you from me

That night he cary He’d threatened to kill ry that he’d almost succeeded He beat me so bad I lost consciousness for hours He had a doctor come in from out of town He paid hione to a spa for a feeeks He alo to a spa

So I knew I knew that night when he ca I can’t explain it I just knew in ot away froun I knehere he hid it I made sure I knew after that last time

He sneered at me Said I didn’t have the backbone to do it

I shot him in the heart And I was surprised Really surprised when it killed him I just wanted him to stop

I shot him

Please forgive e

I feel guilty Ashamed I do But I also feel relief that I’ive myself

Forever yours,

Sarah

I was surprised at the splash of water that fell on the paper and I jerked it away from my tears The ache in my chest had intensified as I read the second letter and for the first ti time I cried I cried for this faceless woman I cried for the powerlessness, the pain, and the truthful shame of that freedom that Sarah’s words invoked

My phone suddenly rang and I felt like I ju had disappeared, including the apartment

Reaching intointerrupted

It was Matthew Matthew and I had been friends for twenty-five years He was the only re tie I had to my life back in Iowa

“Hey, you” I smiled

“Hey, sorry for calling so late”

“Don’t be Is anything wrong?”

He heaved a heavy sigh, causing the line to crackle “Helena’s mom has been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia”

I knew Helena was close to her ?”

“Well, we’re hoping she’ll pull through, but even then she’s looking at so recovery”

Suddenly I knew the other reason he was calling Every year, during the anniversary of my sister’s death, I went on vacation This year I couldn’t because ue, Dr Whitaker, had already put in for her vacation for the weeks that I’d wanted And she refused to even consider swapping vacation ti as always a hard ti I could do was to plan a vacation withMatthew, Helena, and Perry in Key West for a shared vacation together I never went home to Iowa, so these planned trips were the only chance we had to see each other

Disappointed, but more concerned for Helena and her mom, I said, “Matt, it’s okay If you contact the owner of the house ere renting and explain, we should get our money back”

“I’m not worried about the money I’m worried about you It was our only chance this year to see each other”

“Don’t worry aboutelse out”

“You’ll call me when you do?”

S at his overprotectiveness, I said, “Yes But ive my love to her and Perry”

“I will We’ll talk soon?”

I could still hear the anxiety in his voice and I wished I were a less co about me “I promise”

Once we hung up I stared at Sarah’s last two letters

An e, and it suddenly expanded and filled e how such emptiness could cause an ache

I didn’t knohat I was going to do I had my three-week vacation titon for it I’d have to come up with a plan

The thought exhausted ain

Sarah Randall

Inmate No 50678

Women’s Correctional and Rehabilitation Facility

Wilton, DE 19801

May 5, 1976

My darling George,

I willet them all at the same time At least you won’t have to wait for the truth then There will be no agonizing wait as I try to gather e to tell you what I need to tell you

If I could save you from this truth I would Perhaps it is selfish ofyou, but it has takento realize that secrets are poison You, of all people, are owed the truth

I wish I had known then what I kno

Everything would be so different

Do you remember the weekend you ith your father to tour the Princeton ca more than to be a Princeton man Except

Why didn’t I remember that then?

I am so sorry

You were gone that weekend and that’s when Ron ca to geta probleht he touched me Everyone on the boardas there to see you best Ron He never forgave you for that I soe for that night beco I lostfrom me He took you from me