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I walked out of his apartotten the reminder
We were just fuck buddies
He had no right to answers about anything in my life
THREE
Jessica
Despite the fact that I spent little time away from work, I stretched myself financially to rent my two-bedroom apartment don I’d wanted the extra space so that hter, Perry, could visit whenever they wanted
It was a spacious and airy apart room It was stylish and coh with relief every tiet much alone time here, but when I did, I savored it
The first thing I did was shower, hurrying through the process and then speeding through blowing out ed into my pajamas and wandered casually into the kitchen The kitchen was the reason I chose the place It was sleek, glossy, and white—white cabinets, white tile flooring, white sink, white stove: white, white, white But the whiteness was broken up by the backsplash of leaf tiles—copper foil encased in glass It was a glae pictureat the end of the kitchen that gave me a fantastic view of the city
I grabbed a cold beer and stood at eas if I hadn’t a care in the world But trying to relax was i toon my favorite armchair
Screw it
I couldn’t wait anymore
With cold beer in hand I curled up on the chair and pulled the envelopes out of my purse Part of me wondered hoever wrote them didn’t mail them, and why they stuck them inside of a book Did they want the of me to read them?
I letmy beer down, I opened all the envelopes Inside were letters with lovely fe I checked each for a date
They ritten in 1976, forty years ago
Wow
I got little goose bu the decades-old paper
Putting the with my beer, and settled in to read
Sarah Randall
Inmate No 50678
Women’s Correctional and Rehabilitation Facility
Wilton, DE 19801
April 14, 1976
My darling George,
What you must think of ht of my secrets, secrets that have kept ood you ever thought of me
Perhaps it’s too late to explain It’s definitely too late to change e yours Not too late to change how you think of ive me
You need to know that I love you I have loved you from the moment we collided on the boardwalk and you picked up my books and asked me if you could carry theesture, when all the other boys were too busy trying to be cool You were always just you And you were the kindest, h I never knew I could laugh like that until I met you
Do you remember the day Kitty Green put yhed and teased me Not only did you stand up for me, you took me to the boardwalk after school and you did all these funny iirls You turned hter
You have always turned hter
It was real between us You have to know that From that first smile, to our first kiss, to the first time you made love to me
I never wanted those moments with anyone else
If you believe anything in this world, believe that
Believe that I love you more than any other person and that that love will never die You’ll be the last ie in e of your goodness, the love I feel for you, will be enough for God to recognize that I know of Heaven and I cherish its value Perhaps in that knowledge He will forgive me and welcome me home
Forever yours,
Sarah
It took me a moment to reach for the next letter Already my chest ached It was so desperately sad to read the woer had been separated from someone she cared so deeply for A ser part of h she had known love
I picked up the next letter, desperate to know the reason for their separation and her incarceration
Sarah Randall
Inmate No 50678
Women’s Correctional and Rehabilitation Facility
Wilton, DE 19801
April 23, 1976
My darling George,
I a in e All that see you I loved you But as important as that is, I realize it’s just as important for you to hear that I didn’t love Ron
I pleaded guilty because it was the truth, George I killed Ron I killed my husband
He didn’t deserve the title He was cruel Beyond cruel There is no excuse good enough for taking auntil the day I shot him, Ron hurt me
I didn’t want tohe tookI never wanted hie did I want hiotten the reminder