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When she had had no luck for an hour, and I was in too er, I went down to see if I could pay for herSpanish channels and peeling wallpaper that only exacerbated the despair that tried to drag me back into a pit

Her presence kept ht I held her close as if she were Corabelle, and took the pills when she said it was okay to do so In theonly a pittance, and the next night I waited for her to close up the shop before I approached her to co back as the man behind the counter caured the score pretty fast -- he had no idea she was hooking and ht fire her if he knew

When he ell away, she turned back to lanced down the street, her black curls blowing across her face like her hair was the wind itself I suddenly understood the concept of transference I couldn’t love Corabelle anymore; I had cut irl instead, in soot nowhere near any tender or vulnerable space

"I need to go holanced up at the hotel "Roo on her shoulder, trapping a swath of the wild hair "I will come"

We turned froed with my old-man walk across the street and up the stairs, then back down to a liquor store next door, buying a bottle of wine, and up again

We hadn’t done anything that night either, as the wine on top of the pills knocked ainst my chest on the lumpy bed, both of us fully clothed I didn’t want her in any other way, not then, not so soon,from the stitches and Corabelle still so close in otten busy? Within the two months? The ten jacks?

I stood up frory Surely I hadn’thad it been?

I’d stayed a week in that hotel, then moved on I didn’t see Rosa for a little while as I searched for soot enrolled at UCSD I got a job as a night stocker at a grocer

Then I reht, a couple weeks later I’d been lonely and feeling pent up I didn’t know a soul and hadn’t talked to anyone but the uptight night er of the store, who kept all the employees on different aisles as orked so ouldn’t waste tie and that they wouldn’t be calling my name I wondered if she’d think of where I should have been, the people I would have stood between

I drove back to the border about the ti their caps in the air I waited across the street as Rosa locked up the far out her na about her was different Instead of looking atpatience, she actually seemed happy

She ran down the street to me, but stopped a few feet short "Gavin! You are here!"

I took one step toward her, and she lost her shyness, throwing her ar someone who knewbetter

"No hotel now?" she asked, glancing back the e’d come, to the shabby place I’d called hoot a job in San Diego I live there now"

She so there"

"You sure that’s okay?"

"I live withabout her joy at walking with htness in s and through the foyer I would later coed up those dirty stairs, I reet her out of these terrible conditions But ere inside her aparts and paper flowers, I realized she was happy there, close to work andat the pictures and statues of the Virgin Mary, candles, and trinkets She got two beers froether like ere old friends

When I sat on the sofa, she perched aardly at the other end I re that was an odd way for a prostitute, but she’d always had that innocent quality, even on the street, and of course, the other ti had happened Maybe she didn’t know quite what towhat you said to a hooker you were ready to make a irl other than Corabelle, and ays

"Come over here," I said to her

She shifted over and laid her head againstnight, probably no longer really caring that she’d lost the top spot to Charles,to his speech I wondered if she would give one after all When Finn died, nothing else sees like a co

My mood pluht threatened to overtake everything else I couldn’t go back, couldn’t change things I just had to charge forward