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"Not so loud," she hisses in a panic

"Sorry" I drop s as she stares off at the dusky parking lot "We don’t really know thatht?"

"Yeah, I guess so" I don’t--can’t--fully agree with her about the fun thing As much as I’d love to have

"You know, I could put in a good word for you," she suggests as she twists a strand of her hair around her finger

"At the dealership?

"Yeah, ht help"

"Thanks, Charissa That uzzle the rest of my soda then crush the empty plastic cup inme this birthday party It was really nice of you"

She shtly then she hikes up her shirt so her flat storeat Lots of cute guys showed up" Her gaze flicks to the fire "Oh, speaking of cute guys" She nudges ht

Tristan is e from the tipsy and horny mob circled around the bonfire "Hey," he says as he reaches me He smiles and I return it wholeheartedly Then he looks over at Charissa "Mind if I steal Avery for ato ask her to dance"

"I don’t really dance," I confess "At least when I don’t have to"

"Oh, everyone should dance" He holds out his hand to me and pouts out his lip "Come on Come dance with me It’ll help take , I hand the cup to Charissa and place my hand in his I effortlessly follow him as he escorts me down the sandy path toward the fire I’m surprised by how fearless I am of the fierce fla , Tristan circles around ers across my stomach as he lines his chest with ainst me

I shiver as I nod "Ready"

Then we dance

And I et ether, the fire blazing in front of us, e the sand The moment is intensely perfect and I try not to think about how bad of a person I am that I haven’t told Tristan much about me, at least when it comes to es with shaer our bodies flawlessly move to the music Tristan kisses ainstin the softness ofis complicated I used to hate music, but I suddenly love it Maybe love it too much

And just like that, reality slaps me across the face Cold and harsh

"Shit" I suddenly break away froh the crowd of people and past the fire

"Avery!" Tristan calls out as he chases afterstars I can’t tell what’s wrong and what’s right any feels so backward at thedirection, yet I continue down the path

"Avery, please" Tristan grabs ?"

I wiggleto slip away from hiainst his firm chest and his lean arms are secured around me

"I’m just confused," I whisper over the rapid beat of his heart I clutch his shirt, the rhyth Too faers knotting through the strands of my hair "About what?"

"About you and I" I squeeze my eyes shut Please, please tell me what to do I’m scared and confused

Do I tell hi?

His hand pauses in my hair "What about you and me?"

My eyelids flutter open and I peer up at hiuidance All I receive is silence, though, nothing o

To decide

On ht be time…"

"For what?" His voice is strained "Avery, is this because of what I just told you? Because I pro better"

I jerk out of his ar lance up at the stars one final ti breath, I reach for the bottoI need to tell you"

Two years, five months, and three days earlier…

Chapter 34

The day I died

Avery

I’as station, having little ti inside the trailer At first, I think his reddened face is directed at ain, but then threebecause they’re not just any three uns in their hands

"Where’s Mason?" Conner asks carefully as he looks around the small room stacked with boxes We’ve lived here for twoI haven’t bothered to unpack yet

Sitting up on the sofa, I vigilantly glance frohbor’s on a play date Why?"

"We need to talk," Conner says as he rushes across the living rooh, and the purplish dots on his forears excessively

I can sense i atout…" I look over at the men in the doorway The tallest of the three s "Who are they?"

He throws a panicked glance over his shoulder then kneels down in front ofhis hands on top of "

I jolt fros out from under his hands, but he pierces his nails into o," I say, jerking to get free

He shakes his head, his hands tightening on s in desperation "You need to listen to uys a lot of money, Avery, and it’s become a problem"

"Well, I don’t knohat you wantone of the at hirin My attention zips back to Conner "We’re broke We don’t have any … you can help," he explains quietly "They’re going to give me more time to come up with the money on one condition"

Like a horse senses a thunderstorm, I want to flee "And what’s the condition?"

Before he can respond, the guy without the belt steps forward and sets his gun down on top of a stack of boxes near hiaze whips fro with him not to do this When I see his deadened expression, I shove hi from the sofa I make it three steps before I’round The carpet scrapes my cheek, and ht down on me

"It’ll be over soon," Conner whispers in my ear The worst part is that he actually sounds sorry After everything he’s done, thehate you… God, please don’t do this" It’s the last thing I say before a hand slaps over my mouth and an unfaht, the quicker this will be over, sweetheart," the guy says, and then ht likehate being helpless

I hate everything

The way he touches me