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I haven’t even had sex in over four months, but that’s because I haven’t been in any crackhouses, which is where I’ve always done hookups That’s the thing with me When I’h, I become someone else who doesn’t feel like such an invisible fk up Even if that so into an empty abyss, it soh to fall into an abyss

"You knoe should do?" Nova asks, ripping ravel on the side of the road as I glance up to Nova She’s in front ofover her shoulder at ht as the sun Always is "I was thinking that after we go find jobs tonight, we should go see Avery"

"Who’s Avery?" I play duetting a job or my excitement at the mention of Avery I don’t even want to notice e that during our brief encounter three et underhonest withabout Avery since the first and only ti people I’ve crossed paths with, and the fact that I was able to talk to her without being under the influence says a lot about her

At first I’d thought Avery see that could only be described as ugly when Conner, her ex-husband, showed up and yelled at her I intervened and to this day I still don’t knohy

The intervening wasn’t where Avery really left the deep, unforgettable ht when she’d found the bag of crystal I’d been carrying and had accidentally dropped it Instead of ignoring it or being disgusted by iven me a choice

Take it

Or not

I’d chosen the ‘or not’ and a it for reasons that are unclear Part of me wanted to explore the whole Avery infatuation I was starting to develop because it had to , especially if she could think of ie And she kissed s or sex in return, nor was I asking her for drugs That had never happened tofor her the next day to ask her questions about that night, questions I still think about all the tiuy like Conner?

Who is Avery?

Why did she have the no guy rule?

Why did she look at ment?

And I mean really look at ht

I wonder all the ti

Wonder if she ever thinks about h, and I’ve painfully learned that sos aren’t better left unsaid

"Don’t play duives me a hard stare "I know you rening stupidity "Nope, not ringing a bell, but then again, a lot of chicks have been through ht"

She rolls her eyes "You know I know you’re a lot of talk, right? That you’re really a nice guy underneath that assle demeanor" She turns around and shuffles backwards to face me "And I have uy"

Quinton’s looking straight ahead at the desolate road and squinting against the sunlight, his shoulders vibrating, probably fro to do it in silence

I pretend to be more irate than I a about? It doesn’t ht" Just one "I barely know her" True "You can’t have feelings for someone you don’t even know" You just can’t

"Who said anything about having feelings for her?" Nova asks and Quinton, who no longer able to hold it in, busts up laughing

"Oh, shut up" I gently shove hih

"And so what if you hardly know her? You two seemed to hit it off really well and solances at Quinton when she says it, which I don’t get because the two of theht away It took thely, and brutal journey that I kind of drifted through with them

"Just because I hit it off with so about it" The sun peaks in the sky and starts to beao in and out of my life all the time"

"Yeah, but sometimes people come into your life and stay there," she presses, probably referring to how I’ve ed to stay in her life for a few years Then she threads her fingers through Quinton’s In response, he grips onto her hand tightly "And I don’t care what you want to do I’rin expands and then she spins on her heels, leaving ardless of what Nova thinks, I won’t ever have what her and Quinton have, no matter how much I secretly wish I could It just isn’t in the cards foralone, rejected, and used, I’ve come to the realization that I’ term I’ve come to terms with that and am fine with it

That’s what I have to remind myself alk up to the worksite tenin front of the foundation, talking to Wilson, the forelih for me to recollect how attractive she is, wayup with

Her brown hair with a purple streak in the front is pulled up into a ponytail, and the diaht jeans hug her legs and that ass… that ass is hot Her skin is covered with ink, on the back of her thigh, her ar to see every detail of her tattoos Her lips are ridiculously soft too, which I know fro kiss that ood ht

But it can never be more

Can it?