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When you almost threw those pictures in the fire, it’s likeAnd I couldn’t let you get rid of thosethey were all you had left So I told you And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I love you so reedy for you I want you all to h, all I’ve been doing is thinking about Josh And I’ve come to a realization I think Josh loved you just as much as I do And if he’s the kind of s I do--then he sounds like he’s probably a pretty great guy And uy like that

I have another confession I know you wrote to him sometimes, on Facebook I know because you accidentally sent a e meant for hi up andas if it’s full of rocks I pull e to see, and when I go toto Nate, it’s there…the last letter I ever wrote to Josh Nate read every word Re-reading ithow hard it was to want to let Josh go, and how painful it was ad to him--even in this way--that there was someone else It takes me several minutes before I can put ain, but I finally do

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that sooner I probably should have But you were opening yourself up, and you were falling for me And Rowe, I just didn’t want to stop that I told you I’m selfish I wanted you to fall And I wanted to catch you

But since you left, I’ve been thinking about that e you wrote I bet there are more You don’t have to tell me; those words are private, for you and Josh But Josh hasn’t been able to write back And theanything in return, the sadder itnow, and while I don’t have the htly qualified--as someone who loves you just as oodbye, Rowe But neither did he If he did, I’s he would want to say:

Dear Rowe (he would be more formal than me),

You were my first And you were reat moments on earth ith you, just as I would have wanted the you for the hundredth ti you for the first

You will always be the only girl I want to dance with

I can’t believe how big your heart is, and how strong, for being able to carryso hting through what life handed you It wasn’t easy, and for hter, a beautiful, brilliant, funny, witty, kind and loving fighter And the world needs you So thank you for co back to it

And it’s okay to keepor other And he doesn’t mind Like, at all (Okay, so he probably wouldn’t say this, but you get the point)

I won’t say goodbye And you shouldn’t either Because e had is peroodbyes would only erase that So instead, let’s say good beginnings The best beginnings--first loves I hear your second one is pretty crazy about you, too (Yeah, that last part is totally me)

Yours Forever

Josh

And Nate

Chapter 31

Rowe

Maybe I’d already forgiven hi his touch was on that paper--scribing out every raw eht fro up? I’d coness, somehow I’d cootten hio back to life before; I didn’t want to This place, here on this floor, this hallway, this room and his--this was ain And next year, I’d find my home wherever he herever Cass hereverAnd I wanted life Josh would have wanted it for e, knowing she was probably already on her flight She texted back later that night, givinghim not to let Nate know He was the only one who could help I hoped he would have that saation Cass had when she helped Nate