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"Yeah?" I say, looking up at her She’s biting her lip and soon she starts kicking her legs excitedly, and hiding her face in her pillow

"Yeah Can you believe it?" She’s still hiding, but peeking at me with her eyes barely above the pillow

My s, then nod slowly "Yeah, I can" I re him how disappointed Cass was that he didn’t invite her ho, and I remember the look on his face when I told him He loves her, too I just hope he’s ready to adso Cass doesn’t see my smile fade I am happy for her But I miss Nate And I’m jealous that she’s in her honeymoon phase Mine was cut short, just like every major milestone in my stupid life Problem is, as much as I miss Nate, I also miss my box of Josh memories And I’m not so sure there’s room to miss them both

My exa By the tie packed, and she’s almost ready to walk out the door to head to the airport

"So, this is it, huh?" I ask, looking at her and al to kidnap her and put her in my suitcase so she can coet , and I giggle lightly, doingto come Because truth of the matter is Cass and I are criers We just don’t want anyone to know

"Have a happy Christ back on s up on her shoulders

"You, too And I’ll see you…in a ht smile, but my stomach twists because I’randparents, where h the holidays until they settle in at San Diego I’ve thought about transferring, that way I can live at home with them But that’s not really ho for you," she says, pulling a folded envelope fro now, so I won’t get to see you get pissed aton that for two days But I had very specific instructions And…well…I love Nate’s brother, so I sort of felt like I owed him one You know, by extension? Anyhohatever Read it I did Again, get pissed when I leave Okay, love you Bye!"

She’s out the door with a barrel of noise and activity, her bags hitting every wall on her way out and down the hall I hear the elevator ding, and when I know she’s gone, I turnso heavily I’hhard, I pick up the envelope, which has clearly been torn open, and I can’t help but shake my head and s that I don’t hesitate long, and I pull the folded sheets of notebook paper out It’s written in pencil, and soed, probably fro is fa

I es and ss up crossed in front of in I’ve written the first line of this letter about a dozen ti line sounds desperate and cheesy, so I’ for that one Now that I’

I love you I also wanted toI hope you’ve read this far Have you read this far?

I pause and run h I can actually hear his voice while I’, smooth and deep, and II needed to make sure was said I wasn’t sure what should coamble and ith love, mostly because it’s happier

Now, I also want tothis to you right away I wanted to make sure you finished your exams first, and she had very specific instructions Did she cheat and give this to you early? I hadn’t really thought about that until now I guess there’s nothing I can really do if that happened

Right, so what’s the point of this letter? Rowe, I’m so sorry I lied to you Your dad was so concerned, and when he told , I didn’t want you to go back But looking back on it, I think I wasselfish I didn’t want you to drift back into depression, because I didn’t want to lose you I didn’t want you to becoht that you couldn’t be here any h to convinceto do But I lost you anyway, didn’t I?