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"You’re…not bad," I say, shrugging for ely And I bet your knees crackle and pop fro to suffer froht"

He pushes upe was the bitchy one," he jokes

"Nope It was I all along In fact, this isn’t even what I look like If I ripped off this layer of skin, underneath I would slitter, and my hair would feel like wire from all of the product I put in it"

"Wo that’s what I was really hoping you looked like Go on, baby, rip it off Showfor h, he leaves his fingertips on er to the next, like he’s not sure if it’s a good idea to hold onto htly

"You don’t want to see the real me," I s, and look away

"Sure I do," he says, and I can feel his eyes on , and I know I can’t wait this one out

"Tell et hurt?" His hand drops frorips both sides of the bench underneath hi his entire body up a few inches fro breath when he rests his araze stays there the entire ti lake, near New Orleans My grandparents owned soht me to swim in that lake ere real little I mean, that place was like a second ho him remember his youth is incredible The way he talks about his brother just gushes with affection, and I’ in his life that feels like that

"Well, this one year, ere both feeling a little adventurous There was this big ledge that I had watched soers jump off of the year before, and the entire year after, all I did was talk about that ledge tohiether Only, e cliood at heights, and I started crying Now, keep in ht now, it’s not that young for a boy who’s crying I felt like a loser, and o first and show me how easy it was He, uh…he didn’t co my mouth because I don’t want Nate to see the complete reaction on my face I know I can’talready, threatening to fall down my face

"He injured his L2 and L3 No, I’ll be blunt--he smashed them to pieces I ran down the hill and screamed bloody murder A few fisher to the hospital is all one giant blur, and I re the entire time that my parents hatedso stupid"

"But it wasn’t your fault," I say, reaching for his hand on instinct His breath pauses when ers into mine a little more this time

"I know that now Ty snapped me out of it pretty quickly You may have noticed, my brother doesn’t really do pity," he says, his eyes still watching our hands as they fight to hold on harder to one another

"You’re brother is pretty aweso for his eyelashes to flick up and for his gaze to reach mine But he keeps his eyes down, at our hands

"Yeah, he is I’ood at baseball because of him He alanted to play professionally, or at least in college When he couldn’t anyet here for hi up at the corner of his mouth

"I can’t wait to see you play," I say, and his eyes finallymy heart the second they do

"You can come to practice You know…if you want Anyti at his lip I can tell he’s e er and he nods

"Good, that’s settled then" Nate’s expression starts to change after that; soon his brow furrows, and he’s chewing at the inside of his cheek "I have to ask you so But I’m scared of your answer"

My heartbeat stops co to ask, and I know I have to start to let my story out for others to hear If I ever want friends--real friends--the kind that help you heal, then they need to see every part of ers stop id Nate just nods once and looks up at ht, flat line