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When I began to tell her all this, Lilly attempted to protest By habit, she blamed herself, and over the years she had learned to take a ined culpability, which she was now reluctant to do without Earlier, I’d incorrectly believed that her inability to meet my eyes resulted from my failure to find Jimmy; like her, I’d been quick to torture myself with blame This side of Eden, whether we realize it or not, we feel the stain on our souls, and at every opportunity, we try to scrub it aith steel-wool guilt

I held fast to this dear wo tothat she understand how close I had co her future for e she held of s I’ve ever had to do…because as I held her and quieted her tears, I realized how much I still cherished her, treasured her, and how desperately I wanted her to think only well of ain

"We did as right Both of us If we hadn’t o," I concluded, "you wouldn’t have found Ben, and I would never have found Sasha Those are preciousSasha Sacred moments"

"I love you, Chris"

"I love you, too"

"Not like I once loved you"

"I know"

"Better than that"

"I know," I said

"Purer than that"

"You don’t need to say this"

"Not because it makes me feel rebellious and noble to love you with all your troubles Not because you’re different I love you because you’re who you are"

"Badger?" I said

"What?"

I sh than sob, though it was composed of both She kissed me on the cheek and settled into her chair, ith relief but also still ith fear for her ht a fresh cup of tea to the table, and Lilly took her hand, held it tightly "Do you know The Wind in the Willows?"

"Didn’t until Icandlelight, I saw the tracks of tears on her face

"He called er now, your Badger And you’re his, aren’t you?"

"She swings a hell of ato find Jiht of repeating that i him home to you"

"What about the crow?" Lilly asked Sasha

Fro paper, which she unfolded "After the cops left, I searched Jiht find so they overlooked This was under one of the pillows"

When I held the paper to the candlelight, I saw an ink sketch of a bird in flight, side vieings back Beneath the bird was a neatly hand-letteredwill be my servant in Hell

"What does your father-in-law have to do with this?" I asked Lilly

Fresh misery darkened her face "I don’t know"

Bobby stepped inside fro daas evident to all of us The sun had not yet appeared above the eastern hills, but the night was doing a fade, froray dust Beyond the s, the backyard was no longer a landscape in shades of black but a pencil sketch

I showed hi of the crow "Maybe this isn’t about Wyvern, after all Maybe soainst Louis"

Bobby studied the paper, but he wasn’t convinced that this proved the kidnapping was oes back to Wyvern, one way or another"

"When did Louis leave the police departo, a year before Ben died"

"And before everything rong at Wyvern," Sasha noted "So maybe this isn’t connected"

"It’s connected," Bobby insisted He tapped one finger against the crow "It’s too radically weird not to be connected"

"We should talk to your father-in-law," I told Lilly

She shook her head "Can’t He’s in Shorehaven"

"The nursing home?"

"He’s had three strokes over the past four months The third left him in a coma He can’t talk to anyone They don’t expect hiain, I understood that Bobby’s "radically weird" had referred not only to the hand-lettered words but also to the crow itself The drawing had afeathers bristled; the beak was open as if to let out a shriek; the talons were spread and hooked; and the eye, though merely a white circle, seemed to radiate evil, fury