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He closed his eyes and leaned back, as if it was exhausting to consider what she was telling him But his inner tension remained at a peak, revealed by his hands, which were fisted in his lap
"Where are we going, Holly?" "For a little ride" As they passed through the golden fields and hills, she kept up a gentle attack: "That’s why the manifestation of The Enehtened a ten-year-old boy The thing I caught a glimpse of in my motel-room doorasn’t a real creature, I see that now It didn’t have a biological structure that made sense, it wasn’t even alien It was too faeylanced at hian to pound "Jihter and opened his eyes "What?" "For God’s sake, don’t close your eyes that long You ht’ve been asleep, and I wouldn’t have realized it until" "You think I can sleep with this on my mind?" "I don’t know I don’t want to take the chance Keep your eyes open, okay? You obviously suppress The Eneh all the hen you’re asleep"
In the windshield glass, like a coan to appear froh: DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD
Scared but unwilling to show it, she said, "To hell with that," and switched on the windshield wipers, as if the threat was dirt that could be scrubbed away But the words remained, and Jim stared at them with evident dread
As they passed a small ranch, the scent of nen hay entered with the wind through the s
"Where are we going?" he asked again
"Exploring"
"Exploring what?" "The past"
Distressed, he said, "I haven’t bought this scenario yet I can’t
How the hell can I? And how can we ever prove it’s true or isn’t?" "We go to town," she said "We take that tour again, the one you took -port ofYou wantedo find theether"
Neords appeared under the first six: DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD
Holly knew that tiut her, dis heap of her own entrails before she had a chance to convince Jim of her theory-and it did not want to wait until Jim was asleep She was not certain that he could repress that dark aspect of himself as she pushed him closer to a confrontation with the truth His self control ht sink under the rising dark force
"Holly, if I had this bizarre multiple personality, wouldn’t I be cured as soon as you explained it to me, wouldn’t the scales immediately fall off my eyes?" "No You have to believe it before you can hope to deal with it
Believing that you suffer an abnor of it, and understanding is only the first painful step toward a cure"
"Don’t talk at me like a psychiatrist, you’re no psychiatrist"
He was taking refuge in anger, in that arctic glare, trying to intimidate her as he had tried on previous occasions when he’d not wanted her to get any closer Hadn’t worked then, wouldn’t work now
Sometimes men could be so dense
She said, "I interviewed a psychiatrist once"
"Oh, terrific, that makes you a qualified therapist"
"Maybe it does The psychiatrist I intervieas crazy as a loon hiree matter?" He took a deep breath and let it out with a shudder "Okay, suppose you’re right and somehoe do turn up undeniable proof that I’m crazy as a loon" "You aren’t crazy, you’re-" "Yeah, yeah, I’ical box Call it whatever you want
If we find proof soine how then what happens to me? Maybe I just smile and say, Oh, yes, of course, Iin a delusion, I’m ever so much better now, let’s have lunch" But I don’t think so I think what happens is
I blow apart, into a million pieces"
"I can’t promise you that the truth, if we find it, will be any sort of salvation, because so far I think you’ve found your salvation in fantasy not in truth But we can’t go on like this because The Enemy resents me, and sooner or later it’ll kill me You warned me yourself"
He looked at the words on the windshield, and said nothing He was running out of arguments, if not resistance
The words quickly faded, then vanished
Maybe that was a good sign, an indication of his subconscious accommodation to her theory Or maybe The Enemy had decided that she could not be intih and savage her
She said, "When it’s killed me, you’ll realize it is part of you
And if you love ht, then what’s that going to do to you? Isn’t that going to destroy the Ji to leave you with just one personality-the dark one, The Ene your survival here as well asto the botto-but there is no botto a little deeper"
As they were entering town, rouped pioneer settlehn"
Jibut because that name made an immediate connection for him
"My God," he said, "that was the voice"
"The voice of The Friend," she said, glancing at hihn, the wonderful actor, had been the hero of television’s The Man from UNCLE and exquisitely oily villain of countless films