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Jim had to be part of his own cure She could not track down the truth and make him believe it He had to see it himself
She loved hi about the love; that was just part of her now, like blood or bone or sinew But al the cause of it
Wondering at her own courage, she drove back along the graveled path to the foot of the wind blasts from the horn, then three ain
Ji light, squinting at her
Holly opened her door and stepped out of the car "You awake?" "Do I look like I’?" he asked as he approached her
"What’s going on?" "I want to be damn sure you’re awake, fully awake"
He stopped a few feet away "Why don’t we open the hood, I’ll put my head under it, then you can let out oing on?" "We have to talk Get in"
Frowning, he went around to the passenger’s side and got into the Ford with her
When he settled into the passenger’s seat, he said, "This isn’t going to be pleasant, is it?" "No Not especially"
In front of thean to turn sloithchunks and splinters of rotten vanes
"Stop it," she said to Ji sails were only a prelude to a manifestation of The Enemy "I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say, but don’t try to distract me, don’t try to stop me"
He did not respond He stared with fascination at the mill, as if he had not heard her
The speed of the sails increased
"Jienuinely baffled by the anger underlying her fear "What?" Around, around, around-around-around, aroundaroundaround It turned like a haunted Ferris wheel in a carnival of the da with the pace of the windmill sails
She put the car in reverse, looked over her shoulder, and backed at high speed around the pond
"Where are we going?" he asked
"Not far"
Since the windht it was a good idea to put it out of sight while they talked
She swung the car around, drove to the end of the driveway, and parked facing out toward the county road
She cranked down her , and he followed suit
Switching off the engine, she turnedshe no-or suspected-about him, she wanted to touch his face, se from her of which she hadn’t even known she’d been capable-just as he engendered in her an erotic response and passion that were beyond anything she had experienced before
Yeah, she thought, and evidently he engenders in you a suicidal tendency Jesus, Thorne, the guy as much as said he’ll kill you! But he also had said he loved her
Why wasn’t anything easy? She said, "Before I get into itI want you to understand that I love you, Jim" It was the dumbest line in the world It sounded so insincere
Words were inadequate to describe the real thing, partly because the feeling ran deeper than she had ever ile es like anxiety and hope She said it again anyway: "I really do love you"
He reached for her hand, s at her with obvious pleasure
You’re wonderful, Holly"
Which was not exactly I-love-you-too-Holly, but that was okay She didn’t harbor ro to be that si in love simultaneously with the tortured Max de Winter from Rebecca, Superman, and jack Nicholson in any role he’d ever played Though it wasn’t easy, it wasn’t dull either
"The thing is, when I was payingin the car watchingoff with you, putting myself in your hands, and you hadn’t said the words But then I realized I hadn’t said the back and protectingback any hith no net below-and largely because you told ht So you better have meant it"
A quizzical expression overtook hi it, but you did You have problems with the L’ word Maybe because you lost your folks when you were so young, you’re afraid to get close to anyone for fear of losing them, too Instant analysis Holly Freud Anyway, you did tell me you loved ht now, before I get into this ined I could feel about anyone the way I feel about you So if whatever I say to you in the next few minutes is hard to take, even impossible to take, just knohere it co else"
He stared at her "Yeah, all right But Holly, this" "You’ll get your turn" She leaned across the seat, kissed hiot to listen"
She told hi she had theorized, why she had crept out of the mill while he’d been asleep-and why she had returned He listened with growing disbelief, and she repeatedly cut off his protests by lightly squeezing his hand, putting a hand to his lips, or giving him a quick kiss The answer-tablet, which she produced from the back seat, stunned him and rendered his objections less vehement
BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE MY FATHER WHOM I FAILED TO SAVE His hands shook as he held the tablet and stared at that incredible line He turned back to the other surprising e-HE LOVES YOU HOLLY HE WILL KILL YOU HOLLY-and the tremors in his hands became even more severe
"I would never har down at the tablet
"Never"
"I know you’d never want to"
Dr Jekyll had never wanted to be the murderous Mr Hyde
"But you think I sent you this, not The Friend"
"I know you did, Jiht"
"So if The Friend sent it but the The Friend is me, a part of me, then you believe it really says I love you Holly’" "Yes," she said softly
He looked up from the tablet, met her eyes "If you believe the I-love-you part, why don’t you believe the I-will-kill-you part?" "Well, that’s the thing I do believe a small, dark part of you wants to kill me, yes"
He flinched as if she had struck him