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Ellie kicked ain, to look up at her She was sitting across the table, looking at etically at Stacey and Paul ere also both looking attoabout my mom?

"Sorry," I muttered sheepishly

Ellie’s hand stretched across the table and tookok? You’ve been distant allintoto pull the answers from my eyes

I smiled and shook my head to clear it "Yeah, I just…" I trailed off, not really wanting to elaborate too much, especially not in front of her friends It was then that I realised that I wasn’t going to be able to get this out ofon with s I need to sort out I don’t think I’ for her reaction toour plans without so much as a proper explanation Ellie would probably be pissed with me about this, and so she should, this wasn’t the type of thing that good boyfriends did

She nodded, looking at me concerned "Ok Want ain, I was struck by another wave of love for her She really was thethat I had in my life Just the way that she looked at me made me feel different, I loved the Jamie Cole that she sahen she looked at ht I was, that one that she saw in irl Sorry I have to skip out of the etically

Ellie waved her hand dismissively "No worries, I’ll let you make it up to me another tih at the suggestion on her face I knew exactly how I’d be ine it involved ain

I got up out of the booth and pushedfor him to finish off my untouched McDonalds I stepped to Ellie’s side and bent down kissing her fiercely, showing her how grateful I was that she was such an airlfriend I pulled away after a fewthat her taste and her smell would overpower the bitterness that I would feel from the visit to htly again and she grippedon htly I moaned and pulled away from her before I wouldn’t be able to I was desperately in love with the girl’s personality, her kindness and thoughtfulness…… but that didn’t mean I didn’t want her body like a fat kid wanted chocolate cake She literally drove uy after all and Ellie was one serious little hottie cheerleader

"See ya," she whispered, s her beautiful smile, the one that ot that s at Stacey and Paul, "See ya guys, sorry about bailing You’ll get Ellie hoht?"

Stacey waved her hand dismissively, "Sure ill, and don’t worry about it, Jamie," she assuredhalf ofhim an elbow to the ribs fro I smiled and shot one last look at Ellie before I headed out towith every step took

I really didn’t want to go and do this I didn’t want to see her, to face her again I didn’t want her to tellto have to bail her out again I didn’t want her to drag ainst everyday I was finally free of that life, I was out of it and I desperately wanted it to stay that way That just wasn’t me anymore I wasn’t Jamie Cole, expert car thief and all round badass I was Jauy orked his ass off at a scrap dealers everyday, just to earn the s that she’d like

I got intoto caler, hurt andhtly sick

As I drove down the faet sweaty, htened, my heart started to speed up I had no control over these things, they happened automatically It suddenly hit me that the last time I had headed towards this house, was before I was a murderer The last time I had headed away from this house, I was in a cop car, dried blood still onmy clothes I hadn’t been near that place in five years, and I didn’t want to be going there now

I gulped as I passed the group of kids playing in the street, the little girls ju on a Sunday afternoon I can res like that, while I had stood up against the wall, being the protective big brother and watching out for her I forced hed and danced around the street, so happy, so carefree I was never like that Sophie was, I et a childhood The childhood I did have, I tried my best not to re forever as I saw things that stuck out in s like Mrs Motter as still sitting on her doorstep, s, her hair pulled back into the messy topknot, her clothes still looked the same as I renise me if I walked up to her noould she still invite ht I looked thin?