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The memory hits ,I can’t rely, I reinhabita protest after lying on the cold ground for so long

My eyelids are heavy and reluctant, but I blink to clear ed, s

My breath ja for breath

Lilac lies beside me, dead

It only takes a moment to realize that the body beside irl sitting cross-legged beforeon the s to the back of e blossos to life: white walls, green leaves, and the purple flowers that share Lilac’s name

I see the wooden front door, the s andboxes, filled to overfloith herbs and yelloers As I watch, a pathway appears, grass swaying on either side of it It threads its way down to where she sits, curling past her so now she’s relaxing in arden

I can’t do this

I only realize I still have the Gleidel inThe laser shrieks when I pull the trigger, and the roo strike The ie flickers, then solidifies once more How dare they show her to me? How do they dare touch her ed, throat feeling like it tears with the shout "Get out, get away froun a second ties a shower of sand and pebbles "Don’t touch her Where was your godda her out of that cave? What was the point in dragging her halfway across your forsaken planet, to do this? To let her bleed out? We should have died in our pod, like everybody else You should’ve just let us die together"

I can’t think about why they’re showing her to me nohat purpose could be behind their torture My voice is giving out, words jagged, slicing my throat "Go" I close my eyes "You could have saved her You could have warned her You did this"

When I open one, and I’ out the last of the blankets, and I rollout sloaiting for the treon hard stone, and I silently stretch out aze away froaze away frorass I cross over to the shed where the fuel was stored, reaching past the paint tins for the shovel I carry it back soround is sandy on top, the hole collapsing in on itself as the top crust keeps cru Lower down the soil is darker, ainst it, then drive it doith ht

Three hours later, it’s deep enough

I wash o back to her Sometimes, a day later, the body is still stiff It’s h, and I lift her without trouble