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I hate that I caved so easily I’ve straight up lostthis--since I returned from London and now that I haven’t felt well, these last feeeks especially, I seee of me

It’s awful I’m worse than I was before It’s as if I’ve faded into the background

"Are you feeling all right? You look pale" I turn to find Lily standing before eous as usual in a thin white sundress, her skin a golden tan, her long, blond hair up and showing off her gorgeous, perfectly made-up face Grandma would be proud

Too bad she’s not here She wouldn’t show up because Pilar is the force behind this particular get-together Grandma refuses to mix with Pilar in "polite company," as she calls it Se to tell Pilar to fuck off, albeit in the most polite way possible

I sust You kno I get" Total excuse When I was ten I fainted Once It was hot as hell and at the tail end of suht in front of the Fleur building I milked that incident for all it orth, too, and Daddy fell for it every single tiuess When I ed me to help Violet’s not around, he toldof the words help and work Could you put it together, Rosie girl? Please?

He callsout of me It worked this time It works all the time I’m a complete sucker for my daddy I only ever want to please him, no matter how much he doesn’t seem to care whether I’ Fleur at a so-called suing on Daddy’s ar her watch They’re leaving early so they can get some time in at our family’s suo

A house I visited only once this summer because hello, Pilar is there

God, I hate her

"You’re wearing the necklace" Lily’s fingers graze the stones of the Poppy Necklace "It looks good with your dress Does it kill Pilar that you have this?"

I pull my head out of the clouds--a place I see the necklace because it makes me feel closer to Caden As stupid as that sounds since the , it’s the truth "I don’t care what she thinks Not like it’s reallyit to Grandrandmother escapes the city entirely in the su on her porch in the Ha in the sun and the salty sea breeze Says it’s good for her coent sunscreen wearer Violet

Lily touches"Oh, my God Your skin is claht faint"

That’s because I feel like I justaround, I see a few empty chairs at a nearby table and I hurry over, practically collapsing into one of the the other chair close before she sits in it, staring atAre you sick?" she asks

I laugh weakly I wish No, I’ Not that I can tell her the truth Not yet This has beentoo hard, getting this party put together I think … I’ht line "I still can’t believe you helped out with this party You hate Pilar" She looks over her shoulder, presu sure Pilar isn’t anywhere close, before she starts talking again "What happened to you quitting anyway?"

I keepat the fabric ofheavily around acy heavy on rand plans when I first came back from London, all fired up and ready to set out on ry, so furious at Caden’s abandonivenof hope He said he loved ured he just needed some time

But no There were no calls, no texts, no e He disappeared as if he’d never existed and at ti in le ine our tih I have undeniable proof that our tiether happened

"I didn’t knohat else to do," I say o? What would I do? I couldn’t find a job elsewhere, like at a rival company or whatever Daddy would’ve been so mad I would’ve never heard the end of it"

"Oh, screw hiain, yet here I a I’d never showed up He said a few choice words to irlfriend of his, but I sent her a look that said I would cut her in an instant if she so much as breathed another word to hs and shakes her head