Page 37 (1/2)

Ed steps up behind hie from Reid I try not to watch them, to decode every one of Ed’s brow lifts and Alex’s muttered yikes It’s hard not to feel naked as they peer down at the screen where s are laid out so plainly

Alex is the first to look up “He sent this today?”

I chew on ”

“He wants to htens, turning around to tug on his hair “If I don’t sayinside”

“Okay, this doesn’t have to be that big a deal” Alex looks up at Ed, confused

Sweet, breezy Alex

But sweet, emotional Ed drops into a chair and wipes his palh, Alex, since these are our best friends, and one of the to another Not to mention the tiny fact that both of us knew We’re aiders and abettors”

“Not helping” I whimper and sink deeper into the cushion The beads in Ed’s cheap beanbag choose thisroan And remain there

“Oh, that’s just sad” Alex lasts about five seconds before bursting out laughing

At least Ed takes pity on et you up”

“Leave ”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” Ed bends one knee to kneel near ue dickness up his robe

“You s for a version oftoo dramatic about the reality that he thinks I’et I basically catfished my best friend” I push to sit up “Who does that? I didn’t even really knohat that was a few ht it was just a show on MTV”

Ed, thankfully,a milk crate across the floor to use as a seat “Please take this the way it’s intended, because you know that I love you, but what did you expect to happen?”

When I whi in: “This This is what happens Secrets are cancerous”

“Thanks, Alex”

He shrugs “Soht with you, and who else would do it? We’re your only friends”

“I have other friends,” I say, indignant

“Who?” Ed asks, quickly adding, “Baristas don’t count”

“What, you want nah but it comes out wheezy “I have lots of names Like, all my friends at work And my sister”

“A sister we’ve never met, and who you never talk about,” Ed re but dead air

“And all these friends at work,” Alex says, “why not introduce us to soue, but can’t I have acquaintances at work, people I talk to on the way to faculty s, or at lunch I have casual friends like Avery—okay, yreat with girlfriends At some point, every female friendship I’ve had has turned south somewhere, and I never kne to fix it because I’d never learned how to fight I always thought a fight s, but I’m still terrible at confrontation

“I’ve never had, like, deep friendships,” I say, and hate how I feeldefensively “After my mom died, we just sort ofrallied Dad’s motto was ‘Don’t sweat the suess to hi felt big in comparison” Realization unfolds as I let this all out “If I ht? No sense les to hide his exasperation “Sharing things doesn’t ”

“I know, but—”