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Suffice to say, it ard

Afterwards, I went over to my friend’s house—I’ve mentioned her to you before, she’s one of my closest friends, and we’ve becoain: going for honesty here Well, we had sex again tonight but instead of feeling as for her are deeper than hers are formore, but we both know they won’t She’s wonderful, and I feel like we know each other inside out, but then she’ll say soisters that I hardly know her at all, deep down When I tried to ask her tonight as going on with us, she answered the way Isex

I hope this isn’t upsetting you Or, maybe I hope it is a little, because then it will s for s to happen with this friend, I’ve also held a piece of myself back because I haven’t wanted to shut out the possibility that you’re a better fit forher, it’s been easier to hope that things with her would start developing, start going somewhere What if I meet you, and we have fun, but the connection we have by letters diffuses in person?

At the end of the day (and it is, the end of a very long day), I need to know I’d love to ether to see if it’s worth pursuing so This isn’t an ulti out It’s just needing to knohether the reason things haven’t slotted into place with ht person for me is still out there

Call me?

(805) 555-8213

—Reid

Chapter thirteen

oes dark with inactivity My reflection gazes back: brow furrowed, lips turned down at the corners, expression a mixture of terrified, bewildered, and hurt Reid’s e off in , I haven’t had coffee yet, andI’m not even sure where to start

Reid felt terrible after we had sex? Is there a way to read that and not be devastated? I’ll ads were aard between us, but I’d been houts to Ed and Alex—to find hi I didn’t even know if he’d read my letter

All I kneas that he wasn’t with her

I wasn’t thinking as I pulled hih the door and down the hall All I could do was feel—feel how right ere together, and an overwhel relief that he was here, and that I didn’t want hi, Mills? felt like being grilled all over again at my dissertation defense, and I honestly did not have an answer I got weird and panicky, and he left Even Emotional Mutant Millie is aware it’spersonal shit You know that, right?”

“Why you gotta be such a secret?”

“Come on, Mills We all know you keep your cards close”

They’re not wrong; I’ve never been good at opening up

I had just turned eleven when Mom sat Elly and me down over ice cream and told us she was sick She went so fast after that It felt like one day she was carefully explaining what the word cancer ed into every manner of tube and wire The sharp s scent of Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers that she would spray every

Toward the end, Dad kept us carefully away “Don’t worry yourelse to think about”