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His fingers encircled her forearht you weren’t ready to have a baby”
“I’ree hat you said in the orchard If ant to have a baby, we need to start discussing it with the doctors”
“What about adoption?”
“We can do both But please, Gabriel, you need to have the procedure reversed if only to show that you believe you will be a good father And that you aren’t a prisoner of your history I believe in you, sweetheart Hoish you believed in yourself”
He stood under the spray of the shower, closing his eyes and letting the water run over his head He released her, running his hands through his hair before stepping aside
Julia took his hands in hers
“These hands are yours You can use they, or DNA determines those decisions for you”
“I’m an alcoholic because my mother was That wasn’t a choice”
“You chose to go into recovery Every day, you choose not to drink or to use drugs It isn’t yourthat choice—it’s you”
“But ill I pass on to our children?” His voice sounded desperate “I have no idea what’s in oing to focus on fa to pass on”
“The only things you could pass on would be beauty and kindness and love”
She s to say to you I sa the children at the orphanage reacted to you I saw you laughing and playing with theive our children love, protection, and care You will give them a home and a family And you won’t cast the them when they sin You will love them so desperately you’d die for them That’s what a father does And that’s what you will do”
His eyes lasered into hers “You’re very fierce”
“Only when I’ to stop an injustice Your giving in to those old lies would be unjust You’ve done so much to help et about your family, I’ll support you If you want to trace every branch of your fauilt and fear rob you of your choices You made the decision to have the procedure reversed I think you should stick to it Even if we decide ant to expand our faet about my fa more about them—at least to discover any obvious health concerns”
“It won’t be easy But you’ll have soht now your past has power over you because you don’t knohat’s there Once you know, you won’t have to worry about it anymore Take a risk with ifts God gave reatest one is you
Chapter Forty-one
Although Gabriel’s concerns were not entirely assuaged by Julianne’s words, he felt relieved Her belief in him, her love for him, chipped away at his self-doubt Truly he was blessed beyond all reason to find such a lover, such a wife When she’d looked into his eyes and said she wanted him to reverse the procedure whether they planned to have a baby or notGabriel would remember that moment for the rest of his life
A proverb from the Hebrew Bible caood
It was at night, when he felt tortured by his past and fearful for his future, that his hope was shaken Rather than leaving her side to haunt the house in search of alcohol, Gabriel resolved to wrap his arel didn’t elith he needed in order to fight
The day after their shower, she’d found hi over a pile of books, his laptop open on the desk
“Hi” She entered the study, carrying a glass of Coke “I brought you a drink”