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He’ll go, and you’ll stay, and you’ll live through that, too
Will I?
Do I not get a choice in anything? He walked back into my heart as a conclusion, not a question Maybe that’s the whole point--life showing h to want itelse, only to rip it away When you have nothing for so long, you forget the terror of having soainst the concrete I liftto squint into the darkness There are all kinds of rodents in this camp I’ve had to kill more than one mouse, not tomore than the heel offood s for miles around
But I knohat ainst the concrete and through the walls That is not a mouse
Someone exhales between their teeth I don’t hear it so much as feel it near my ankle
"Who’s there?" My voice sounds unnaturally loud to ? I would have heard so in; the creak of the door alone would have jolted s back from where I’ve stretched them out But that slides along my skin, up my calf with silent intent And I think, He’s back, I think, He’s here, he’s got the lock off I can’t see a dae, this rooet out fro out
It’s not until after I frantically kick that I can hear my mind whisper, Snake
The hiss sounds like I’ve tried to throw a bucket of ice water onto a fire, it sounds like my heart, the frantic pulse of it just before it stops co, overwhelBy then, it’s too late
The ht suddenly shifts I can’t go still, li I know I’m supposed to do, I just want out, I want out of here There’s aforward, and, God, do I feel it when its fangs punch through my skin and strike the ankle bone
I scream in pain and shock and it only--it hurts--
It hurts--
It electrifies hts that aren’t there I feel the devil in this roo
It whips out of the cage so fast, I think it’s flying It leaves the way that itto pry the door off I choke on ainst the first bite the last tiain It’s as scared of you as you are of it
I stay still for as long as I can bear it, until the treers along the punctures, already swollen and tender They come away slick and warine how it happened, how the snake ashed out of its deep hole by this winter’s rain and made a shelter of this place, and then a hoet to the dog food I wasn’t anythingin armth I had to offer To--
Waves of nausea churn in my stoe, and they taught us to identify the poisonous ones, how to avoid them on hikes, what to do if you can’t But I can’t re in the box My h the years, but none of it e I can’t remember how to tell one snake apart from the other, and, in the end, it doesn’t reallyI know is that I don’t feel right
I can’t pretend it didn’t happen, and, for the first time in years, I don’t want to lay here and let luck roll the dice on whether I have to hang around, or if I’ off this ride I see now that there’s soet out, no matter how many years it may be from now, I know there is soram they’ve set up for Reds, then he’ll need h I have no idea what to do or where to go fro away, the darkness disappearing into the dust the wheels will kick up I will outrun this place and protect theain
I shift onto et so were to happen, we had an eet Ruby I don’t have that luxury, and I haven’t understood that it is a luxury until thisand panic is asp in a deep breath, feelingfeels waxy topain, there’s barely any sensation outside of the feeling of sand pouring into my bones
What I have is a dark room, and one lone camera somewhere on the wall behind me