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Everyone: she knows Ben isn’t co There is an ache inside Maybe soh to hope he’d be here, sohtmare, or the paraain

‘To start with today, we have a special guest who is going to say a feords Everyone, this is Mr Fletcher’ Mr Fletcher, not Agent Fletcher

He stands and walks over, next to Penny The others re, and obediently call out hellos; I remember in tiht of our smiles Penny sits down

‘Today I want to talk to you about drugs’

He carries on into a long lecture on the dangers and evils of drugs, and to never, ever take pills or anything else unless they are fro to tell a parent or teacher about it, straight away His eyes are travelling around the group, one by one He’s not here tofor someone, anyone, whose reactions aren’t what he expects He’s looking for anyone who knohere Ben got his Happy Pills I can see he is, for a change, trying not to be scary, but he isn’t doing a very good job Many ss can do

Ben said the Happy Pills let hi in the way They did Is that such a horrible thing?

Fletcher leaves when he is finished, relief clear on his face as he heads for the door It is like he thinks we are contagious Penny begins to lose the stress she carried at the beginning: her brow softens and her natural s about Ben She one Walk over to Penny ‘Can I talk to you?’

‘Of course you can, dear,’ she says, but her eyes are urgent; she shakes her head no, side to side ‘And I need to check your Levo: I hear you had a blackout last week’

She scansis wrong

She plugs the scanner into her netbook, and gasps ‘Kyla, look at the graph 21 Dangerous’ I look at it with her, and also see what she doesn’t say out loud: the last two days, my levels have been in the 3s and 4s most of the time 71 just now: a side effect from the run

She holds my hand, shakes her head sadly

‘What happened?’ she asks But she cups a hand around her ear, shakes her head again

So in

I nod; mouth, ‘I understand’ And tell her the Lorder approved story: that Ben wasn’t in school, Jazz took me around and there were ambulances but I don’t knohat happened to hiet about Ben He won’t be back; just put hi on with your schoolwork’ She says the words, but her eyes are sad, and she slips an arain in the back of er

A movement of air – a cool breeze that lifts the hairs on my arms –Fletcher to be back Instead it is a surprise of another sort

‘Dad?’

‘Hi Kyla; hi Penny Ready to go?’ He smiles, but I a hiood et up and head for the door

‘Take care, Kyla,’ Penny says

‘Thanks’

We get in Dad’s car, but instead of turning left for hoo for a little drive, have some time for a chat’

‘Okay,’ I say, uneasy He wants to talk without Muht you weren’t back until Sunday’

‘I should be asking you if everything is all right I’ve been hearing things about you, Kyla You and your friend, Ben’

‘Oh’

‘Oh Is that all you have to say for yourself?’

His tone is conversational, his smile and open face are present and accounted for; his words say so else Be careful

‘I’ it’

‘What?’

‘The wide-eyed innocent look, the whole act You’re involved, somehow, in what happened Now listen to me Your s lie That it is in ht that you’ve been up to so under ot aith this ti is your et it?’

There are a s I could say I could deny all the accusations hidden behind his words; I could repeat the authorized story of events; I could cry and pretend I don’t understand

‘Yes I get it,’ I say I holdUse the fear; feed the anger

Dad nods ‘That was the only answer you could have given to stop ht now’

He drives on in silence We do a loop around to the other side of our village, and he pulls into our drive ‘You’re too clever by far Take care you keep out of trouble’

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT

A sleepless night follows: tooattention Thealar another day off A good little Slated wouldn’t, and I’ve been told: I’h today, be ordinary, pretend like nothing is wrong? How? Put one foot in front of the other; take one step at a tiet out of bed School uniform on; brush hair Pretend to eat breakfast And wait for the bus in grey drizzle, arainst cold that falls from the sky and sinks deep in ain today as she is still on work experience

When the bus co myself to sit at the back, in Ben’s seat, so I pick the only other empty one We’re half-way to school before I relances: they don’t like that I sat here But does anyone even notice one Slated boy less in the back row?

Through classes and breaks, there are no whispers of where is Ben, like after Phoebe was taken Not that I could answer the question, but the lack of it digs at me Is it because they don’t notice, don’t care, or are afraid to ask?

Then, thethis class No Ben next toeyes, peeling away at the layers I’ve been throwing up around myself After we all scan our cards in and sit down, he stands at the front A deep blue shirt today It emphasises the lack of colour in his pale blue eyes He sh He starts the lesson, then stops asolances, and that is when I see: they know They have noticed there is no Ben, but it is taboo A subject of no discussion No one answers