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"But it’s your birthday" His war shirt and ihtly as possible I would have done anything to take away this pain, to unsay what I knew had to be said But I couldn’t take the bullet from Dad

Gus cried hiit would be until words like "ht up My est person I knew, but she’d always stood on the foundation that was my father

Once the last of his little sobs shook his body, I asked hi I could do to make this better for him "I want you to have cake and ice cream" He lifted his head off my chest and squeezed my hand "I want it to be your birthday"

Panic welled withinfierce and terrible clawed at ri Gus’s sweet face I turned my attention to Captain Wilson "Can we take a ten h he sensed I was close to losing it, his one stable person in a house of grieving wo you need?"

"Could you please call my Grams and check on her? She lost her husband in Vietnam" It was all I could force out I inched closer to the inevitable scream that welled up within rabbed th to stand any longer I flung h school graduation present fro safe so I could make it home on weekends from the University of Colorado at Boulder Too bad he wasn’t as protected in Afghanistan

I forced the key into the ignition, cranked the engine, and backed out of the driveway too quickly I tore down the hill, taking the curves, heedless with ot rocery store, the stoplight turned red, and I becale The car read seventeen degrees outside, and I was still dressed for treadrabbed rocery store, thankful for the nu sensation in my arms and heart

I found the bakery section and crossed et hi Buttercrea There were too many choices It was just a darabbed the one nearest to me and headed for the ice cream section where I snatched a quart of chocolate chip cookie dough on autopilot

I was halfway to the checkout counter when I ran into a sirl They laughed as they decided whatfor The Santa Clause Hoas it possible these people were having such a normal day, such a normal conversation? Didn’t they understand the world had just ended?

"You know, they’ll write on that for you if you want his naht, and I looked up into a somewhat familiar set of brown eyes underneath a worn CU hat I knew hily fauy as hot as this one But in a university with forty thousand other students, there was always someone who looked familiar, and there were very feho I could actually name, or even remember the details of hoe’d met With a face and body like that, I should have reuy aiting for hts were fuzzy, and I was desperately holding on to what I had left of them I nodded my head and muttered thanks as I headed back to the bakery My feet moved of their own accord, thank God

The heavyset woman behind the counter reached out to take the cake and I handed it over "Could you write ‘happy birthday’ on this?"

"Sure can, honey Whose special day is it?"

Special day? This was a day frorocery store, with a cake I didn’t even care about, and realized this was unequivocally the worst day of my life Maybe there should have been so if this was the worst day, there was nowhere to go but up But what if it really wasn’t the worst day? What if to around the corner, ready to pounce and bring me to a ne?

"Miss?" My eyes focused back on the baker’s face "Whose name would you like on the cake?"

"December"

"Yes, ma’am, it is Deceriefy-panic threatened to well up again ingles erupted froe Mutant Ninja Turtles It’s a boy’s cake!"

Soed, whatever pun came to mind "I don’t care what kind of cake it is!"

"But surely you’d be happier--"

I’d had it "No, I wouldn’t be happier Do you knoould o back to bed, and for none of this to have happened I don’t want to be standing in thea stupid cake so my little brother can pretend that our dad isn’t dead! So, no, I don’t care what kind of cake it is, Ninja Turtles or Barbie or Sponge Bob freaking Square Pants!"