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"I’a fried chicken," I tell her

"Well, I certainly would if I were you, too"--Patty’s voice, as always, is as war the day you’ve had"

"You saw the news?" I ask

"Girl, I’ve seen the news and the newspapers fro And you will not believe who called o"

"Oh, my God, he called you, too?" I’m stunned

"What do youEven though I RSVP’d no"

"No!"

"Yes! Then he even said I could bring Cooper as my date"

"Holy Christ" That’s what I love about Patty She knows all the appropriate responses "His publicistoff the chicken leg and reaching into the box for a thigh I know I should probably eat the apple instead But I’ to cut it Not after the day I’ve had "It would make her look like less of a skank if I showed up Like I don’t bla Jordan and me up"

"Which you don’t"

"Well, ere destined for Splitsville, USA, anyway Tania just hastened our arrival Still, I’ood to invite the ex, to show there’s no hard feelings and all But the ex isn’t supposed to actually go"

"I don’t know," Patty says "It’s the in thing to go now According to the Styles section in the Times"

"Whatever," I say "I haven’t been stylish since the nineties Why should I start now? You’re not going, are you?"

"Are you insane? Of course not But, Heather, can we please talk about what happened in your dorirl?"

"Yeah," I say, picking a stringy chicken piece from between my teeth Fortunately we’re not on video phone "Sort of She was nice"

"God! Who would do such a thing? And why?"

"I don’t know," I say I break off a chunk of thigh e or bone, and give it to her She inhales it, then looks at ure out"

"Wait" Patty sounds incredulous "What did you just say?"

"You heardinvolved in this one"

"Good for you!" Patty takes the phone froround, "It’s all right She isn’t getting involved in this one"

"Say hi to Frank for me," I say