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…But that doesn’t hold a candle to what I feel now I still think about you Every day I wonder what you are doing I wonder if you have kicked all your blankets off your side of the bed again and woken up cold I wonder if you are so absorbed in work that you forgot to eat dinner again I worry that your headachesback or that you fell asleep with your face in your laptop again I look up at the ht--and the stars And I wonder if you are looking up at the into your eyes again and I write this with a shaky hand, wondering what I’ll see there…will those beautiful dark eyes be s, or ht to ht and I saw a shooting star cross over the constellation of Draco That’s a sign, right? A good sign? I made a wish but of course I can’t tell you what it is But that wish is my hope Allmeteorite It reminded me of this quote…

"The skies are painted with unnumbered sparks They are all fire and every one doth shine"

–Julius Caesar, Act 3, Scene 1

(Don’t be too ile that…)

Those sparks are like ht now Unnumbered All fire And I pray that you still have hope too

I read for hours, unable to put it down, and when I finished, I flipped back through the pages--back through her sketch recreating the shooting star through the constellation of Draco Back through collages, articles printed out and glued into the pages, her list of quotes from our favorite movies and TV shows Back to her new bucket list

And back to the last few lines of that last entry, written just hours before she’d wrapped up the journal and handed it to iven ive myself permission to be sad about that loss sometimes…

I closed my eyes and slept And for the first time, I didn’t dream of her Or at least I didn’t reuilt that tormented my conscience She was flesh and blood and real And she was , when I woke up and checkedfor ame Four simple words and I kneho they were from

I choose us Forever

Just before sunset by the peaceful rocks overlooking the tide pools at historical Crystal Cove Beach, my Uncle Peter married Emilia’s mom, Kim They held hands and said informal vows to each other but the cereratulated the alone as a h that ceremony, I could hardly concentrate on my uncle’s happy turn of events because I couldn’t takeat the bride’s shoulder The wind ruffled her short, dark hair Her skin glowed, radiant in the golden sunlight She wouldn’t stop sed white sundress, she looked like an angel

But she wasn’t a th frooddess

And I do believe that she was just as unfocused on the wedding as I was, because she held the bride’s tiny bouquet, sirl in the back of class

I’m sure she was just as overjoyed about her mom’s happiness as I was for Peter’s but it was hard to concentrate on them e’d had no chance whatsoever to talk The two of us Alone And we had so s to say

Chapter Forty-Three

Mia

I lingered on the rocks after that short, huether on the beach and they were now following the happy couple back to the parking lot But, having hugged, kissed and congratulatedinto the tidal pools at the ane a little quiet ti that Adam would wander back to talk to me

I didn’t have to hope it because shortly, I became aware that he’d never moved more than a few feet fro out over the ocean and hovering near ainst the dying sun "Hey"

He pulled his eyes away and looked at"Hey, cousin"

I ross"

He chuckled, took a few steps towardbeside roup of rocks next to us "So around out there earlier I’ve been looking and looking and haven’t seen anything"