Page 58 (2/2)
‘Granddad is different’
‘No, he isn’t He can’t do what he used to But his life is precious Just as Will’s is precious’
‘It’s not my decision, Mum It’s Will’s The whole point of this is to support Will’
‘Support Will? I’ve never heard such rubbish You are a child, Louisa You’ve seen nothing, done nothing And you have no idea what this is going to do to you How in God’s naht if you help hi aWill, that lovely, clever young ht because I trust Will to knohat is right for hi for hile decision, to do a single thing for hi to make them understand ‘I’m not a child I love him I love him, and I shouldn’t have left hi what … what he’s … ’ I sed ‘So yes I’ I don’t need you to look out forto Switzerland – whatever either of you says’
The little hallway grew silent Mum stared at me like she had no idea who I was I took a step closer to her, trying to make her understand But as I did, she took a step back
‘Muot edof ed the way I think about everything? About myself even? Will did I’ve done more, lived more, in the last six months than in the last twenty-seven years of o to Switzerland, then yes, I’o Whatever the outcome’
There was a brief silence
‘She’s like Aunt Lily,’ Dad said, quietly
We all stood, staring at each other Dad and Treena were shooting glances at each other, as if each of the
But Muo, Louisa, you needn’t come back’
The words fell out of her aze was unyielding It tensed as she watched for my reaction It was as if a wall I had never knoas there had sprung up between us
‘Mum?’
‘I mean it This is no better than murder’
‘Josie … ’
‘That’s the truth, Bernard I can’t be part of this’
I re, as if at a distance, that I had never seen Katrina look so uncertain as she did now I saw Dad’s hand reach out to Mum’s arm, whether in reproach or comfort I couldn’t tell Mywhat I was doing, I walked slowly down the stairs and past my parents to the front door And after a second, my sister followed me
The corners of Dad’sto contain all sorts of things Then he turned to Mum, and placed one hand on her shoulder Her eyes searched his face and it was as if she already knehat he was going to say
And then he threw Treena his keys She caught theh Mrs Doherty’s garden, and take the van They won’t see you in the van If you go now and the traffic’s not too bad you ht just make it’
‘You have any idea where this is all headed?’ Katrina said
She glanced sideways at me as we sped down the– I was rifling through otten I kept hearing the sound of Mrs Traynor’s voice down the line Louisa? Please will you come? I knoe’ve had our differences, but please … It’s vital that you come now
‘Shit I’ve never seen Mum like that,’ Treena continued
Passport, wallet, door keys Door keys? For what? I no longer had a holanced sideways at me ‘I mean, she’s ht in the end, right? I ht she was never going to speak to ain But it only took her – what? – two days, to co away besideattention I could barely focus on anything My nerve endings seeled with anticipation I was going to see Will Whatever else, I had that I could al, as if ere at two ends of some invisible elastic thread
‘Treen?’
‘Yes?’
I sed ‘Don’t letif not determined We queue-jumped, sped up the inside lane, broke the speed limit and scanned the radio for the traffic reports, and finally the airport came into view She screeched to a halt and I was halfway out of the car before I heard her
‘Hey! Lou!’
‘Sorry’ I turned back and ran the few steps to her
She hugged ,’ she said She looked almost close to tears ‘Now fk off If yousix points on ain’
I didn’t look back I ran all the way to the Swiss Air desk and it took h to request ht Given the late hour, Mrs Traynor had, as promised, booked me into a hotel at the airport and said she would send a car for ht I wouldn’t sleep, but I did – an odd, heavy and disjointed trawl through the hours – waking up at seven the nextwith no idea where I was