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But ants a fay Mrs Kim can hear the words in her head She can hear them clearly Once she’s said them to herself, it should be easy to say them out loud But still she hesitates, for the sa the truth out loud makes it more real
Peter is your boyfriend
Somehow, this seems a safer place to start So she looks at her son and says it
"Peter is your boyfriend"
That would be enough for Neil Just to hear these words from his mother Because the ih for Miranda
"And," she says
The strangest thing happens then Mrs Kihter’s irritation has board she needs to take the dive
"And," she says, "Neil is gy" She looks at all three of theo finish my paper in the den"
There will be no embraces here No tears besides Neil’s No further conversation Unless you count Mr Kiain to have some breakfast Unless you count Miranda’s smile as he sits down, the distinct pride she feels in both him and herself Unless you count the way the words sink into Neil, the way his life feels a little er feels the overpowering urge to run away
How could this happen? some of our parents asked us near the end We knehat they were really asking, and so you did
We return to the kiss The crowd has started to count down theand Harry hit the twenty-four-hourThere are jeers now--people from town and people from other toho have come to protest, who’ve come to yell, who’ve co can cast So’s and Harry’s souls Some hold hastily scrawled posters: ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE, HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN, YOU CAN’T KISS YOUR WAY OUT OF HELL Soht their children
The police don’t knohat to do--separate everyone into two ca match for the separation to start But the protestors will not be hidden They want to be within hearing range of the ca around the boys holds on When soo to the bathroom, another person takes his or her place They keep their backs to the protestors, their eyes on Craig and Harry
Tariq has now been awake for almost thirty hours His body is wracked with caffeine, his eyes blurred by so o ho and Harry are going to stay awake, he’ll stay awake, too Solidarity
He keeps thinking of Walt Whit He wonders what Whitman would make of all this He’s kept Whit over the scene
Craig and Harry can hear the jeering, the rumble of antipathy, but they can’t hear it very clearly Tariq offered to get the to the speakers, sticking to the playlist It helps to have words to reach for, an ele warnals for the removal of his hoodie, but even after it’s off, he’s still hot Sweating Craig can feel it, too--the blush rising from Harry’s skin, the dampness of his shirt What he doesn’t feel is howhiet the unbearable, like so each and every vein around each and every s, but pain is the loudest broadcast
He’s brought back by the twenty-nineteen-eighteen of a countdown He feels Craig smile under his lips Seventeen-sixteen-fifteen People are pressing in to see It’s getting hotter and hotter Fourteen-thirteen-twelve He tries to focus Eleven Ten Nine Tariq calls out that there are over three hundred thousand people watching online Eight Seven Six One of the news stations burns thehts, wants to capture thishiether Two It is so hot The lights are so bright One An enor
They have made it to twenty-four hours They have made it for a day
Amid the wild press of celebration, Harry starts to pass out
At exactly the same moment, Avery pulls into Ryan’s driveway Ryan is already outside waiting for hi as he arrives Avery parks the car, turns off the et out of the car, Ryan juo inside for a sec?" Avery asks "I have to pee"
"We’ll find so"
Avery doesn’t want to explain that it’s much easier for him to use a private bathroo So he drives, all the ti why Ryan doesn’t want him inside his house
"I have a plan," Ryan says "Are you up for a plan?"
Avery nods
"Okay But first, a bathrooet to a stripup "That work?"
Avery pulls in "You hungry?"
"Not yet Not unless you’re hungry I just figured you could pee here"
Again, Avery doesn’t want to explain So he gets out of the car, heads inside He feels eyes on hioes over to thebecause he hasn’t bought anything People at tables staring because they knohere he’s going, knohat he’s doing Nobody has to be watching for Avery to feel watched He is alet used to it The feeling that he’s trespassing The feeling that he will be confronted The feeling that the world is full of people who think different is synonyets, there will always be this subterranean fear, this nagging shame We want to whisper to him that the only way to free yourself from shame is to realize how coo Stupid arbitrary shit He needs to take those words to heart There is power in saying, I a Because there is no reason that men and women should have separate bathrooms There is no reason that we should ever be ashamed of our bodies or ashamed of our love We are told to cover ourselves up, hide ourselves away, so that other people can have control over us, can make us follow their rules It is a bastardization of the concept of morality, this rule of shame Avery should be able to walk into any restroom, any restaurant, without any fear, without any hesitation
He is relieved that it’s a one-stall bathroom, that he can lock the door and have privacy He is embarrassed by his relief, uncomfortable with the fact that he’s so uncomfortable Ryan remains oblivious in the car Avery envies that, and is also annoyed by it
On the way out, the eyes are still there, the extra self-consciousness Avery won’t let it change his actions, not anymore But he can’t deny it’s there It’s always there
We didn’t lose our fear until we didn’t have anything left But we still feel fear for other people
When Avery gets back to the car, Ryan is texting with some of his friends