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Sleep eludesI want to do to Loden Guiles I want to make him pay for what he did to Annie

I want to destroy him

29

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been

Annie

When I wake up in Chase’s bed, I panic My heart races because I realize I didn’t perforertips to in to panic for a whole new reason Everything floods back in, every single second of Loden’s fury

Dread sinks into hheavily into be sick

I sit up quickly and hop off the e God Chase’s roo for the handle and I juh I know it’s unlikely, I automatically expect it to be Loden--pissed off and ready to finish what he started last night

I deflate like a popped balloon when I see Chase’s face Relief doesn’t even co that overtakes me My knees tremble and I close my eyes for just a moment as my blood pressure slowly returns to normal

"You weren’t here," I say hoarsely

Chase’s hazel eyes catch the sunlight streah theas they focus hard on my face Imy hair fall over me like a veil

"Sorry," he says, his voice is soft and low, and…careful "You were sleeping I didn’t want to wake you up"

I hear the crinkle of paper and then I notice the srury in the least

"I picked up soot you that cara to peek around my hair I don’t want him to see me Bruised and smeared make-up I know I look hideous and he’s the last person I ever want to witness me like this "Do you mind if I take a quick shower first?"

"And then we’ll talk, right?"

I close ain, this time to pinch back tears I nod "Okay"

He holds out his hand, offeringthe dried blood caked on the top of ers

"Thank you," I whisper

He doesn’t step back He does nothing to move out of my way and my stomach twists with alarrained in me now Etched into my body Tattooed into my muscles like second nature My physical reaction is not my own No matter what I tell myself, it responds out of habit

"Can I…?" He lifts his hand and I step back quickly, but he keeps coers under my hair to push it out of the way His eyesto hurt you," he utters gruffly "I just want to see" His thuentle, and asking for perht now

As ers soft and light on my face, as much as I’d love to invade his space and press myself into his arms, I just can’t do it I take another step back and hurry around hi until I’ shohere I’eneric boy shaross, I put on rosser I try to not let this bother me, and maybe it wouldn’t have, but there are stiff spots of brown along the collar of my shirt I pretend it isn’t blood

Luckily I carry a brush and e in my purse Unfortunately, I left my purse in Chase’s roo to dry my hair as I makebecause he knows I’ at the foot of his bed, back--toned and tan--tothe length of his spine His jeans, low on his narrow hips ue stick to the roof of my mouth I’ve seen all this more times than I can count over the years, but it always et better looking with each passing day

I pause, lued to his back, and wonder how messed up I have to be to feel so ht I should be completely turned off by men--I know I can’t think about Loden in any ithout feeling nauseated--but I’ with Chase I never have But I thought Loden was going to kill me I honestly believe he wanted to And here I a to juht?

No, there’s crazy, there’s fucked up, and then there’s me I’m all alone on this level of insanity

I push the door, letting it shut a little louder than I nor a new tee shirt on Finding in the process of concealing Loden’s handiwork Hand, fist, whatever

Cover-up doesn’t quite cut it, so I add a layer of base, which I typically stay away froirl’s got to do I bought this bottle after the first time he hit me I look down at it now and proain

By the time I’m finished, you can’t even tell my face is bruised There’s notisn’t too bad, and hell, I don’t ly and noticeable Lipstick stung when I tried to apply it, so I decide to forgo that idea

I clickme

"If I didn’t knoas there already, I wouldn’t ever have noticed," he says,to my face "How many times have you done this before? Covered it up"

"You don’t want to know," I murmur dismissively because, truly, he can’t want an answer to that question

"Yes," he clips out, "I do" I watch him cross the room to me He locks his arms over his chest and puts one damn determined expression on his face "How many times has this happened to you?"

Soht distinction of his words But I notice He doesn’t care if Loden’s done this a hundred times He just wants to kno many times he’s done it toso enormous At least, to me, it does