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Her cutting Her way of dealing

I don’t have an out--good or bad--like she used to turn to I just havemyself

I adh The way she owns soain I try to tell her about Loden I want to lean o, but just like every tione

"The cake was unbelievable too," Guy adds with a grin

Hope laughs, pushing hi it just like I did in high school

It’s a strange feeling, sitting here with people I love and want to be near, but feeling as if I’ I’ to be happy and normal when I don’t kno to be either

I wearlike I mean it, just like Chase instructed As the ti easier to hold it Easier to laugh Easier to talk Easier to breathe and just be

Not easy Just easier than it was

And it gives me hope Hope that maybe one day I’ll be able to do all this freely To actually really mean it

My hand pauses on a picture of Chase His hair is green and it hter I stare hard at his face, hI feel good I feel…

I feel

There’s no numbness with Chase And there may have been a time where I felt invisible in his presence, but it hasn’t been that way in a long tilance over at Hope and Guy deep in the re their attention isn’t anywhere near me, I slip the picture into the pocket of my flannel pajama pants I want it I want to keep this to mark this moment The precise instant that I understand therewith Chase

The next senuine Authentically Annie Because now my head is full of Chase and possibility And I haven’t felt like this in so long It makes my stomach ache with a mixture of nerves and anticipation

I knohat he said the night before I came home knoasn’t alone As my friend, he’d be there for me He has Heaven and she’s so perfect for hirown so close over the past several months We’ve known each other for years There’s a history between us Granted, not always the best history, but history just the same

I have to know one way or another

One of my New Year’s resolutions: Step out of my comfort zone

Chase is definitely out of my comfort zone He’s also, ironically, the person I feel safest with

My highest connection My hoo home

28

Her Diamonds

Chase

At first, I don’t think toolate I o by and I know this isn’t normal for Annie Then forty And now I start to pace the common room She is too anal to be this late

At one hour, I text her Maybe she changed her mind Maybe she doesn’t want to talk anymore And that’s…that’s fine It’s shitty, but she’s allowed to change her et no reply, I call her It goes straight to voice Annie always keeps her phone charged and she never turns it off Not once in all the years I’ve known her Yes, she’s ignored otten her voicemail

I call Guy as I put my shoes on and search forI just need to see her and prove to ood

"Yel-low?"

"Hey, ot back? No She dropped me off and left Why? What’s up?"

I can’t tell hi to conclusions and she’s fine, then she will undoubtedly hateto decide what to do "I tried calling her, but I think she’s ignoringon her door until she answers"

I hang up with hi the elevator, I jog down the steps, because I knoon’t be able to stand in that little, et there quicker--theis definitely not right Today would have been the first day she saw Loden since the night I picked her up from that party