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Pain helped Inflicting agony gave me a tiny bit of peace It erased a little bit of badness It was

My skin turned lobster-red, and I shuddered with the urge to dart froony, but I stood and accepted the punishment

Five minutes passed eternally slowly, but I never once looked down I never once ran hands over es of injuries and scars I knew every inch of my violent past and wished it wasn’t so evident on ht to find a quick release

I’d been conditioned to feel nothing but the will to obey

My body wasn’t ed to the hand, I wrenched the cold water on and groaned as icy droplets soothed my burned flesh

It layered the pain with two intense reactions, doubling the relief

After blasting myself with ice, I turned off the water and stu at myself in the mirror, I wrapped a towel aroundsure Zel was still asleep and wouldn’t catch ht

Entering the walk-in wardrobe, I let the towel fall and quickly yanked on black cotton pants, followed by a black t-shirt Even onunprepared

Thecertain things, my scars were cloaked, too Hazel didn’t need to see self-inflicted injuries as well as ones earned in duty

She didn’t need to know anything aboutbrown hair fanned the black sheets looking as if she’d beco was so shallow I had to strain to ed, so unlike ure below My cock twitched at the thought of what I could do to her What she would let me do for two hundred thousand dollars

I would fuck her and taste her and use her in every way possible

In this private purchased world, I could do anything I wanted

She was mine

Her mouth parted as she rolled from her side onto her back One arainst the pillow Her face scrunched up, eyes fluttered Either a dreahtmare danced behind closed eyelids

What did normal people dream of? Love and happiness?

"No," shefor her eyes to fly open When they stayed closed, I let myself drink in her parted lips, the flush on her cheeks My thoughts filled with i ht of a release I’d forgotten what an orgasm felt like I had no recollection of the pleasurable explosion I’d felt only twice before

Zel would teach me to remember Zel would curethe chain through ers, I leaned down and touched her

Chapter 7

One terrible ift of my life

Every day was harder, every trial

Before her, I didn’t care about anyone or myself I stole, I cheated, and I lied I existed on a doard spiral with a grave for a destination But she changedto earn well-paying jobs I studied relentlessly, teaching amuffin with no education--to qualify for certificates and diploed my past to create a positive future, and it worked The corporate world opened their doors; a regular income filled my bank account I earned every penny from hard work

But then I was fired, and every saved penny went to Clara’s treate of destitution

I sold myself for two hundred thousand dollars to a man I didn’t trust

To a ht I could save hi

"You like that? There?" Fox murmured aroundfire, coating led in his hair, ainst me "Yes, there Like that"

He pulled back, white eyes looking soft as snow "Touch me"

I droppedin every ridge of, rockin--

"Zel" So the lust-filled connection My dreahthtmare, more like a fantasy I couldn’t reainst losing the kinky co to return to the world of worries and uncertainty

The first person to spring to mind was Clara Her pretty seraphic face, pink with health and youth, slow of vitality existed the life-stealing illness that I couldn’t fight

My heart squeezed, and I struggled to suck in a breath It never got easier facing the possibility of death for rowled His tone banishedthe passion frohts of his arhe’d interrupted